We were born with an internal love that connects us to nature. The awe of sunsets, oceans, and majestic mountains gets our attention. The outdoors is extremely entertaining and incredibly powerful, not to mention healing. Things like storms, trees, flowers, and even vitamins like vitamin D can bring healing to our mental health, bodies, and even hearts. God is massively creative and knows just what we need to rejuvenate our souls. Love Him back by getting yourself outdoors in His Creation.
Preparing to enter nature
Do you ever get that feeling that something is off-balance, that you just need to get out and breathe? I sure do. In fact, this past weekend I said to my husband, “I have got to get outside and surround myself with nature. I’m feeling anxious and need to clear my head.” There are numerous studies about the power of nature and how it helps ground us, relieve stress, and be a vitamin for our souls. Some people call it Forest Bathing. It is a pretty cool term, kind of like “earthing” a.k.a. walking barefoot on the ground.
One of the things we can do to prepare for the outdoors is to get in the right mindset. Reading nature quotes is a great way to anticipate your outdoor venture. Nature quotes do a couple of things: they give you a mental visual of what you might experience, and they set the stage. They open your mind and prepare you to open your eyes to things you might otherwise not notice.
Taking a look back to move forward
There is just something about being in nature; you’re surrounded by the beauty and uniqueness that our ancestors lived in every day. This gives me awe that in some areas of the outdoors, it looks the very same as when they were around.
When I was a child, I was lucky enough to have woods in our backyard. This made it very easy to spend hours outside playing amongst the trees. I’d make a fort and play house. Making a broom out of a stick and pine branches made me feel purposeful and resourceful. Know what I mean? This is probably why I enjoy camping.
Our children and nature
Outdoor play is so good for our children. It not only stimulates their creativity, but nature actually helps them be creative. Playing outdoors creates confidence. It helps our kids develop a relationship with nature, and it comforts their natural spirit. Playing in God’s creation also brings them closer to Him. Here’s a post you gotta check out: 5 Valuable Ways to Manage Mental Wellness in Kids & Us. It talks about developing a relationship with nature. And gives ideas on how we can get our kids outdoors. It also covers our mental well-being and how to manage it naturally.
Nature can be our secret haven
For some people, like myself, nature is one of our favorite worship sanctuaries; it’s our haven, refuge. It’s informal and a perfect place to be one-on-one with God. Even if we don’t go into the woods or visit the meadows and mountains or beaches with the intent to worship God, nature has a way of rejuvenating and healing our souls. It’s like osmosis.
Being outdoors doesn’t mean you have to exert a lot of energy to benefit from it, like climbing a mountain or going mountain biking; you can just be and soak in that unexplainable need for it. It keeps our minds fresh, and it maintains equilibrium with our daily lives. There is nothing more pleasing to the eye than the serenity of God’s creation.
7 Amazing Nature Quotes
Snowflakes are one of nature’s most fragile things, but just look what they can do when they stick together.
Verna M. Kelly
Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better.
– Albert Einstein
Beauty heals.
– Unknown
The trees, the flowers, the plants grow in silence’ the stars, the sun, the moon move in silence. Silence gives us a new perspective.
– Mother Teresa
When I get into the woods my cluttered mind says “Thank you”, my soul says “Ah”, and my spirit whispers “Be still”.
– Christy Troy
The oak sleeps in the acorn. The bird waits in the egg, and in the highest vision of the soul a waking angel stirs. Dreams are the seedlings of reality.
– Napoleon Hill
I can’t change the wind, but I can adjust the sails to reach my destination.
– Jimmy Dean
Wrapping it up
John Muir loved nature and God. He published over 300 articles and 12 books about wilderness, nature, and preservation. He co-founded the Sierra Club, which helped establish several national parks. John says it perfectly here,
“Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul alike.”
– John Muir
May you make an effort to get out into your haven over this next week, practice forest bathing, read some of these nature quotes before heading out in nature, take a step back into time, and see the world through the eyes of the pioneer and Native American. You may be surprised at what nature does for your heart and soul.
The first step to losing weight isn’t cutting back on calories; it’s much simpler than that. To be successful with weight loss and the management thereof, it’s going to take a pencil and paper. There’s more to weight loss than weight. That’s why the first step in losing weight should be to answer some questions. Clarity gives you a pathway. This can seriously be a total game-changer for your weight loss progress!
Where I came from
In 1992, I was 20 pounds overweight. I know this was a long time ago, but that’s important to know. Listen up, I wanted to lose weight, but all the things I was trying to drop the pounds weren’t working. It was like walking up a sand dune; every step seemed so hard, and it barely felt like I was going anywhere! Then something clicked and changed my weight destiny into a reality. When I took this first step in losing weight, the weight came off easily.
My weight story is an interesting one. At that time, I was a freshman at a small college. As months ticked by in this new setting, the weight inched on. However, I noticed that sitting and studying weren’t the cause of my weight gain; it was actually depression! I’m not saying that all weight gain is due to depression, but this was my story. I was living in a toxic environment where judgment after judgment was passed on me and others. As if high school was bad enough, this was worse! Something had to change. I wanted to be happy, to find myself, to be free.
My ‘ah-ha’ moment came when my roommates and I were watching TV in the common area. We happened to be watching an Indiana University basketball game. One of my roommates said something that stirred my inner core. She said, “I’d love to go to Indiana.” I looked at her as she watched the game and asked, “Why don’t you?” She responded, “Because I don’t know anyone.”
Her answer struck a chord in me. Are you letting the fear of not knowing anyone stop you? It was as if I were asking myself that question. As I watched the game and the excited fans…I began to want to be a part of that picture. I wanted a large university experience.
Be true to yourself
What does this have to do with the first step in losing weight? I’m getting there. In the fall of ’93, I was officially an Indiana University student. I was in a new setting, with new people, and new goals. I faced fear and made things happen, not knowing what would happen.
Within six months, I lost 20 pounds and then some, all because I looked at my thought process first. On the surface, I wanted to lose weight, but deep down I wanted to explore who I was and be true to myself. When I understood my motives, the weight naturally came off.
Are you asking yourself the right question/s before you start your weight loss plan? Do you have a picture of what you want to be a part of?
This is the first step to losing weight:
This leads me to the core: it’s not what we’re eating or doing, it’s what we’re thinking. It’s not the weight on our bodies that gives us frustration; it’s the weight we carry around in our minds that trips us up.
First off, I’m not going to tell you how to lose weight; you’re going to do that. Why? Because I want YOU to see results in more areas than one. I want you to live in harmony with your body, mind, and heart for the rest of your life…not just during swimsuit season. And only YOU can make that happen, not someone telling you what to do.
Why do you want to lose weight? I’m not talking about surface answers here. Peel that off, look under that. WHY? Write this down in a journal.
2:What are you WRESTLING with?
What’s blocking you from making this happen? What are you carrying around with you? Stress? A belief? Fear? Identity crisis? Loneliness?
3:What is your WAY?
In other words, what method works for YOU to reach your weight goals? What are you going to do EACH WEEK to make this happen?
4:What will you WIN?
By reaching your goal, what is it going to do for you? Freedom? Confidence? More energy? More outgoing? Motivation? Purpose?
5: What is it WORTH?
What are you going to gain? Can you visualize how you’re going to feel and what kind of freedom you’re going to experience?
Wrapping up the first step to losing weight
I’m happy to say I’ve kept the weight off ever since my Indiana days, even after having a baby and going through steroid treatment for an ailment. I have managed the weight, not the other way around. There is no better feeling than saying, “I finally figured it out.” To learn more about my weight loss strategies, check out my eBook: Simple Happy Wellness Strategies.
Spiritual warfare. Do you believe it? There has been an increasing amount of spiritual warfare happening in the world. Many walk around completely oblivious to spiritual warfare. This post is here to help you be aware of what’s going on around you. You’ll walk away with strategies for dealing with spiritual warfare.
For starters, look at movie trailers that pop up on TV. How many horror films are there compared to PG-rated films at the theaters? Video game violence looks normal, social bullying is the norm, and swearing in music is standard. These negative vibes are forced down our throats not to entertain, but to numb us and transform us to think that darkness is normal and okay. STOP! Get a handle on what’s happening around you and choose to change the course of your day immediately! If you take anything from this post, I hope it is this: experiment by blocking out the dark things and experience the Light it will have on you. First things first, let’s learn some strategies for dealing with spiritual warfare right now. Claim your life back today!
What is Spiritual Warfare?
Spiritual warfare is the invisible war between good and evil. Wikipedia defines it as, “…the Christian concept of fighting against the work of preternatural evil forces.” In the Bible, Ephesians 6:12, Paul says, “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”
So how do we “manage” spiritual warfare? How do we know we’re being affected by it? Is it really true? These are all great questions. Let’s get started on answering them.
Is this real?
Yes, spiritual warfare is real. Please don’t be oblivious to this. There is Light and Darkness in this world. There is a world of lies, falseness, separation, self-focused, and scarcity….all lies. And there is a world of truth, peace, contentment, forgiveness, community, and healing….true love. Think about this: light overcomes darkness every time. Love releases a superpower in us to defeat fear every time. Jesus is light and love.
Jesus, the son of God, defeated Satan after dying on a cross and then 3 days later rising from the dead. This is Truth. And Satan is still pissed off about it. So what does Satan do? He messes with us (God’s children) to throw us off course and feed us lies in a slow, sneaky, and twisted way. Be on alert.
And yes, there is a heaven and a hell. Satan exists along with other fallen angels. And no, I’m not a crazy person. The depth of the spiritual realm is beyond my comprehension, let alone my being able to explain it in simple terms. I HIGHLY recommend Jennie Allen’s study The Lie You Don’t Know You Believe. She goes into depth that is critical for your freedom. Make sure you have a Bible handy, she’ll guide you and show you some mind-blowing connections. Let’s keep going.
Strategies to Claim Your Life Back
In no particular order, these strategies can help you manage spiritual warfare and claim your life back.
Strategy 1
The first strategy I have personally taken is to physically clean out my home of any objects that may have been subjected to evil doing. I know this sounds silly, but if objects can be blessed like a prayer shawl, objects certainly can be cursed too. Knowing this, be careful in the things you collect, including books; some of you might not like what I’m going to say, but it’s time to get rid of the Harry Potter books and Pokémon stuff…both are dealing with witchcraft. I’ve heard it more than once.
Also, be watchful of gifts you receive or have already received. Most things are probably fine, but if you question anything that may have been cursed or made with the hands of witchcraft or a religion that goes against Jesus, get rid of it. I know this sounds whacky, but remember who you’re dealing with…don’t entertain the enemy or test him.
This strategy in spiritual warfare is beyond knick-knacks. I personally went deep…into my old journals. Digging out my journals from high school, college, and my twenties was an eye-opener for me. First off, journaling is super healthy. It’s great to journal lessons you have learned, to write down prayers, to journal about great things and dreams, and to write about positive memories.
It’s also great to vent on paper; it’s better to beat up a pencil and notebook than to take it out on a person. Write it out. Don’t hang on to anger. Vent. Process. Then pitch it. Physically throw the journal entry away or burn it. When we keep our old journals, the ones filled with darkness and distress, in some way or form, our minds are still hanging on to them. Destroy those entries full of complaining, anger, bitterness, and foul language. Who are you saving those journals for? Why would you ever want to reread those things, ever? Get rid of that darkness.
What motivated me to destroy these entries was that I didn’t want my family to ever read them or for me to read them again. Toxic. I have no idea why I hung on to them for so long! So…I tore out the bad stuff and burned them. Yep! I burned them in our portable fire pit, kind of like breaking up with a boyfriend and burning his things. It was so liberating! I didn’t want to remember that junk, so again, why was I hanging on to it?
Strategy 3
This strategy is huge, again these are in no particular order. This isn’t legalism. Repent of your sins. I wanted all negative ties broken. Asking for forgiveness for all my wrongs was humbling. You may think it’s no big deal, but to have a fresh start, this needs to happen, and happen daily. In the past, I had asked God for forgiveness, but this time I was more thorough, and I continue to this day to ask the Lord if there is something I missed for Him to bring to my attention. I don’t want any sin holding me back from what God wants to do through me. Again, this is a daily practice, I sin all the time without even knowing it!
In Psalm 139:23-24, David asks, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” This is a GREAT verse to add to your prayers.
Check out Psalm 51, too. This is when David is asking God for forgiveness after the whole Bathsheba deal. However, this isn’t just about adultery; you can use this passage for your own sins, big and small.
Strategy 4
Take a deep breath. This strategy is critical for your freedom. Let’s get to it. Forgive anyone who has wronged you, including yourself! Let me clarify, I didn’t say forget, and I’m NOT saying the offense was okay, not at all! Jesus said to forgive. I am not a Bible scholar, nor am I trying to be one, but I do know that you must forgive those who hurt you…yes, this includes everyone.
In Matthew 6:14-15, Jesus says, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” As hard as it is to forgive, do it for your own sake. Again, I didn’t say forget; give this person to God and let God deal with them. What they did to you is not for you to carry. It doesn’t define you, it doesn’t rule over you, it has no authority over you. Give them to Jesus. And forgive daily as many times as you need!
Strategy 5
This strategy is to renounce, refuse, and reject any lies or fears that are holding you back. The Enemy is sneaky; he only wants to hurt you. When you hear a lie like, “You’ll never succeed at this.” Get on top of it immediately and say, “That’s a lie Satan. I am complete in Christ!” In Ephesians 6, we are given the armor of God, and one vital piece of that battle gear is the Sword of the Spirit, which is God’s word. Philippians 4:13 states, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
Memorizing has been a powerful experience for me. Granted, I only know a handful right now, but when I use them, I can feel it. Fighting off the Enemy is a daily thing, along with repenting my sins and forgiving others. Just remember that in John 10:10, Jesus says, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” Here is a site that is full of scriptures to memorize and use to fight spiritual warfare: hopefaithprayer.com
As for putting a layer of protection over your home, read aloud Psalm 91. Read it aloud in every room if you want. Invite the Holy Spirit to come into your home and thank Him for His protection.
Strategy 6
Super critical! What am I putting into my mind daily? Am I listening to gossip? Depressing music? Lies in the news? Am I watching trashy TV? What are my conversations full of? What am I watching on YouTube or what video games am I playing? How are these horror shows and movies going for you?
I’m not perfect, I have temptations, but I do have a mind. And if I want to live a life of joy and peace, I am going to try my best to control the things I put in my mind. Did you hear that? “What we put in our minds is in our control.” We have a choice here. No one is forcing you to watch TheSilence of the Lambs. The Bible teaches us what to put in our minds and Philippians 4:8 gives us an idea: “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, what is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.”(NIV)
Play praise music in the background all day long, put the Bible on and have it speaking, or listen to things that are pleasing to Him. Be careful of what you listen to AND what your family listens to. As a parent, you are responsible for your kids and raising them.
Side note: Nightmares
Nightmares are deliberate spiritual attacks. Some stem from an open door in a horror movie/tv show, books, music, people, or unexplainable things. When you or your child has a nightmare, get up out of bed, go to the bathroom, or walk around for a minute. Immediately name what’s going on, command it to leave now in the Name of Jesus, say this out loud. You can also say, “Stop it! In the Name of Jesus. Leave me now!” Simply saying, “Jesus. Come. Help me.” Sometimes I keep saying, ” Jesus. Jesus. Jesus.” Pray over your child. Pray over yourself. Teach your child what to do when a nightmare happens.
Strategy 7
This strategy is a massive one. Pray. I’m not just talking about prayers of “God is great. God is good. Let us thank him for our food.” Prayers for protection, love, and to do His will have power behind them. The Lord wants to hear from you, He wants to talk with you, and He wants to bless you. But the first step is to pray.
Prayer is the MOST important part of your life! Let me reiterate, prayer is SO incredibly important. It is a gift that Jesus gave us when he resurrected. The more you know God personally, the better your prayer life will be.
Pray before a crisis happens, pray in the morning before your day starts, and pray at night before your body, heart, and mind rest. Stand firm in Christ.
When you pray, know that it is a weapon against the Enemy. Find a place that is your secret place to pray, where there are NO distractions, and a place where you can be your total and true self. Your prayer place is a place where you can cry, sob, yell, and sing without the world looking at you and judging you.
More Prayer Tips
Play instrumental music in the background. Invite the Holy Spirit to come and guide your prayer.
To close your eyes or keep them open? It doesn’t matter. I do both. The Bible doesn’t say you have to close your eyes.
Memorize scripture and recite it back to God in your prayer. This is so powerful and impactful.
The Lord’s Prayer is a great example of how to pray. You can find it in Matthew 6:9-13. Although any prayer without format works! When I pray, I like to go in this kind of order:
Praising God and telling Him how great He is.
Thanking Him for everything big and small that comes to mind.
Confessing my sin and asking for forgiveness, getting right with God.
Asking for the Holy Spirit to come into my heart.
Asking for protection over the Enemy, and using God’s armour to stand firm next to Christ.
Other prayer requests, praying for people, situations, and myself according to His will.
Asking all in Jesus’ name. Sealing the prayer in and through Jesus. For instance, I end the prayer something like this… “thank you Jesus, I ask all this in your name, in Jesus’ name, Amen.”
Sometimes, on challenging days, I simply talk to Him, I lament, cry, and get it all out. He is full of truth, love, mercy, and hope. He is the only One. Pour into Him, trust Him. Ask Him. Love Him. He is the ONLY living God who loves you back.
Resources
Along with reading the Bible (Ephesians 6:10-18 is a good start), I also recommend these books.
Whether you are dealing with physical pain, relationships, weird moods, nightmares, or just feeling off, I hope that you’ll take a step back and see WHO is really at fault here. By all means, don’t discount your medical professional; just add some spiritual fighting power to cover your bases. I recommend going through these strategies so you can get clarity in your everyday life and fight spiritual warfare like you mean it! This isn’t a one-shot deal; it should be done as often as you need.
The Enemy wants to distract us and interrupt the line of communication between God and us. Let’s remain diligent and focus on God. I hope that you’ll understand more about this spiritual warfare stuff, so you know how to recognize it and fight it off! Blessings to you.
When it comes to learning how to relax, there are a few things one must do to achieve a peaceful, relaxed state. If there is one thing that can mess with our minds when we’re trying to relax, it’s guilt. To feel guilty because we are taking a break can ruin our efforts to relax. Why? Because “busy” is the norm in this day and age. “Busy” is acceptable, and at times, “busy” is how we measure our days. Let’s permit our mind and body to let go and loosen the tension.
What does busy mean anyway?
Why would we need a definition of busy? Because it helps us understand if we really are busy. Merriam-Webster Dictionary says ‘busy’ is: engaged in action, occupied. My definition of ‘busy’ is this: ‘Busy’ is yearning to do things you want to do without having the time to do them. The difference between the two definitions is this: when I’m ‘engaged in action’ with an activity I want to do, I’m not ‘busy’, but when I want to do something I can’t because of running errands, etc, then I am ‘busy’. You might need to read that again to let it sink in. Where do you lie right now with ‘busy’?
How to relax?
How do we relax so we have the freedom to work on the things that bring purpose into our lives? Or on the flip side, how do we not think about anything and just be?
Men are pretty good at being able to turn their minds off. My husband and I will be having coffee, talking right along, then five minutes of silence go by. I ask my husband what he’s thinking, and he says, “Nothing”. Seriously? Mark Gungor, author and motivational speaker, has an excellent and hilarious way of describing the differences between men’s and women’s minds. For instance, men have this thing called the ‘Nothing Box’. I mean, what the heck is that? You can watch it here; so funny yet true.
5 essential tips for us ladies to learn how to relax
But how do we ladies go about finding relaxation when so much pressure is put on us daily and even socially?
1. Change environments
Escape from the environment that is causing you to constantly think of your to-do list or the problem you’re facing. For instance, I need to step away from the house. Because I’m a stay-at-home mom, I live in my work. So when I’m at my house, it’s natural for me to always have a project. For short-term results, I’ll go to my favorite store and wonder. I didn’t say buy stuff, just window shop. For long-term effects, we get out of town, and for my family, that means camping.
If you’re stuck inside, there are a few things you can do to escape. You can find a space that is only yours; a closet works, the laundry room, even a corner space that says you. Make this space a place for your soul to regenerate. Get some amazing wall art and lose yourself in the picture, find inspirational quotes or scripture (in Freebies) and post them on the wall, decorate with string lights, put splashes of your favorite colors throughout, and be sure to have something cozy. Make this a space you can’t wait to escape to.
2. Write things out. This is how.
Writing all the crud or to-do list down on paper can lessen the power it has in your mind. When it’s on paper, it makes something that was a big deal in our minds easier to digest. We, humans, tend to let our minds get away from us. I enjoy taking a clean sheet of copy paper, grabbing a pencil, and drawing a circle. From the circle, I create branches of all the things I’m thinking about, then I break those branches into smaller doable bites. A journal works too.
Speaking of journaling. Writing freely helps too. Ask yourself thought-provoking questions that can get to the meat of the busyness.
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3. Converse with God
Talking with God helps to release the chains and give them to Him. Did you catch what I said? “Talking with God, not at Him or to Him, but with, like a friend talks with a friend. He wants a relationship with you, he wants to hear your side of the story, and he wants to help you. All you need to do is talk with Him.
For instance, I escape to my favorite walking place and pray while I’m walking. For me, hearing my voice speak rather than trying to sort it all out in my mind helps me focus on the conversation. Then I stop talking and just listen; this gives me a breather and a chance for God to breathe into me. I enjoy Jesus Calling as a nice devotional to help hear His voice.
4. Watch a good show, read a book, or listen to instrumental music
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When we are entertained, it gives us time to relax and just be. It’s a chance we get to wander out of our reality and into a story. Whether it’s a good movie or book, get the comfy clothes on and kindly alert the family not to interrupt your time.
Here’s a tip: Be picky about what you put in your brain. If you’re looking to just feel good and float on a cloud, don’t choose The Silence of the Lambs; maybe try La La Land, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, or Steel Magnolias. Ask yourself what you want to get out of a show before you start channel-flipping. And yes, it’s true, what you put in your mind affects how you think, and how you think affects how you act. Be careful of what you put in your mind; you could be inviting darkness in.
Instrumental music is an extremely effective way to relax. Find a track you enjoy. When I get stressed, I turn to Soaking in His Presence by William Augusto. He does a great job of putting me in the right frame of mind. This music is also amazing to pray with. Love it!
5. Create
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Creativity gets your mind off the stress and into a relaxed state of being. Entrepreneur.com has a great article on the benefits of putting our creativity to use. There are scientific studies on how it can reduce stress. Psychologist, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, says that when you “lose yourself” in the composition of a song (creating)…, you are essentially entering a healthy flow state. No wonder I feel so great after I create something. Try experimenting in the kitchen, rearranging your furniture, sewing a baby quilt, and creating a playlist…we all have creative abilities. Tap into your creativity and make it a hobby.
In conclusion
There are other obvious tips to relax, like taking a hot bath, getting a massage, taking your time in sipping a fancy coffee, or watching the birds. My last bonus tip is to set boundaries for yourself and those around you. Don’t let others steal your relaxation time; protect it with all your might. If you’re at the coffee shop and there is an annoying person by you, get up and move.
I challenge you to tap into at least two of the above suggestions this week to relax. Ask yourself, what do I need to let go of to give myself the time I need? Know how to slow down and be less busy so you can be your best!
How to live a drama-free life sounds dreamy. But in a world that is dominated by drama, pandemics, racial injustice, a shaky economy, broken homes, and anxiety-filled minds, how do we navigate through all this? Right now is a great time to pull out your secret weapon to fight drama and kick it to the curb. Learn how to access your boxing gloves and how to use them effectively every day. You’ll be surprised how much simpler life gets and how more enjoyable.
Mental breakdown
If you look at what’s on TV, YouTube, and in theaters, you wouldn’t be surprised by the health of our world. The shows these days are negative, scary, or full of things I don’t even want to see. Call me old-fashioned, but for my mental state of being, I already have a bunch of stuff going on in my head and prefer to put positive things into it. With our daily dose of drama from our kids, spouse, extended family, and even ourselves, things can build up and break down. What do we do? First and foremost, say “no” to drugs. I know that sounds funny, but seriously. We can achieve peace without the added side effects.
My go-to for cleaning my head out
When there is too much going on in my head, I usually grab a piece of copy paper and write down ALL the things on my mind and categorize them into different departments. This is the first step to a drama-free life. Just do it. Don’t give yourself excuses for why you can’t take five minutes and write things out. By doing this, it gives you a visual of what you have going on in there, plus you can strategize on how to tackle it. This technique usually does the trick, but sometimes the unsettledness lingers.
My enlightenment to a drama-free life, who knew?
As I was listening to my daily devotional, the pastor talked about something that helped explain why I was feeling so overwhelmed. It was something I didn’t think of, and that’s what I want to share with you.
Personal values do what?
Did you ever think personal values had a role in our serenity? I used to think personal values were like jewels in a black velvet bag; you learn them when you’re young and then carry them around with you. BUT don’t you dare get them out and use them because they’re valuable. Did I surely have that backward!
It had been a while since I opened my bag of personal values. Let’s face it, I’m an adult, and values are taught when we are children, right? Not so, those are morals. Morals are beliefs that are taught to us. Think of morals as “acceptable” acts. Parents usually teach morals to help a child determine what is right and wrong. Personal values come from within; they define what is important to us and help us make the right decisions that align with our hearts. When personal values are used correctly, we ultimately experience happiness with our decisions.
Ahem. There is no better time than now to review your personal values. For Mr. Silent Chaos and me, my personal values had to intervene to save the day, along with some Bible verses, of course. When our values align with our decisions, life is SO much easier and happier.
How could something so simple have such a big impact?
The first month of the year, or around your birthday, is a GREAT time to revisit your values. And that’s what I did on my birthday: I took a minute, grabbed my values exercise, and reviewed what I wrote down as my core values. During the exercise, I realized some values had changed, and that was probably one of the causes of drama. When we understand WHY we’re making certain decisions, we understand ourselves better and can move forward by making the right decision for our sanity.
After my values exercise, my mind felt clearer and cleaner. It felt like getting new running shoes; I was ready to run for hours on end. At this point, I could now go back and look at my paper where I wrote everything down and organized it according to my values.
If you’re at a point where ‘simplifying your life’ sounds like heaven, then sharpen your pencil. Drama isn’t welcome in my home anymore. In fact, if I can keep myself in line with my values and speak God’s word, then the enemy doesn’t have a foothold on me. Fight back with what the Lord put in you, and use your personal values.
“If you watch your life, you’ll be amazed at how many times a week Satan launches an attack against you for the sole purpose of stealing your peace. When I finally saw that, God said to me in my spirit, “Joyce, if the devil wants your peace that badly, then there must be something pretty powerful about being peaceful.”
Off-track? Want to know how to set goals and achieve them? When our goals and declarations stutter to a stop, our proactive self immediately turns into a reactive being. We get into a vicious cycle of reacting to our circumstances instead of making things happen. I’m here to help you prevent that from happening. Learn my 4 repair tricks to know how to achieve goals!
What ain’t gonna work
Forward is the right direction, no? As with anything moving forward, it’s a lot easier to use a flashlight than to stumble in the dark. A key to knowing how to achieve goals is to understand what throws us off. What are your triggers, and how do you defeat them?
Picture this: we start the year off strong. The first week, we’re super motivated. The second week, it gets a little harder. The third week, something happens; we’re not sure what…but we veer off course; so much so, we decide to set up camp. I’ve personally been there many times. Frankly, my old patterns are comfortable, they’re easy. But friend, there is something else I’ve learned; “comfortable” and “easy” ain’t gonna getcha where ya want ta go. So let’s learn more about what trips us up in the first place.
Here are the top stumbling blocks:
L = LIES we believe.
It’s too hard. Let’s face it, when things are hard, ‘quitting’ comes to mind. This year, quitting is not an option. Your goals need to be challenging, but they don’t need to be hard. There’s a difference. It’s called pace and workload. It’s too hard is a lie. Are you looking for an excuse to stop? When things get hard, it is SO easy for us to quit. Here’s the thing: when you quit, you’re on the verge of a breakthrough, and you just missed it because you gave up. Keep moving forward. When hard things are taken step by step, it’s heck-of-a-lot easier to make things happen.
THE FIX: Break down your resolution and put a plan in place. Write down what you want to do every week, then every day, then every morning and evening. Get into a routine that helps you win. I don’t care how small the step is, you’re still moving forward. Make the day count. I created a mind map that will help you take things one step at a time. This is actually a great family activity to do; you’ll hold each other accountable!
A = ACTIONS WE DON’T TAKE.
There’s a lack of motivation. When I’m unmotivated, I procrastinate. I wait until I FEEL like it. Well, if I waited until I FELT like it all the time, nothing would move forward, and I would have regrets. There are a couple of things I’m talking about. In order to know how to achieve goals, the first step is to understand the purpose. Why must this get done? What space does it fill? What piece of my goal does this satisfy? The second is the FEEL part. This is a time when you pull up your bootstraps and put the emotions aside.
THE FIX: Ask yourself, “How am I going to feel when I get this done?” If your answer is ‘relief, amazing, good, a load off’, then that means it needs to happen…make it so. This is so incredibly good for your mental health and confidence.
Z = ZOMBIE GOALS.Sabotage #3
How to achieve goals is to have specific goals. The sabotage is that our goal is not specific. It’s like we’re walking around like zombies. Let’s say my resolution is to manage my finances better; I declare, “I’m going to save money this year.” Then what? Ask yourself these questions: Who? What? When? Where? How? Who is going to help me? What changes am I going to do? When am I going to review these things? Where am I going to go if I need help? How am I going to succeed? When you have the answers to these questions, you have a better view of how it’s going to happen.
THE FIX: Be specific when writing your goals, something like this: “I’m going to review my cash flow and budget every Thursday after work.” To help you out in the goal department, I created a printable that you can get for free. Head to my Freebies.
Y-YELLERS get our attention.
We get distracted. Distraction is a HUGE sabotage! When our focus isn’t on our end goal, we flounder around in circles. Some people get stuck in this pattern and find it harder and harder to break free. To break through this twister, we must intentionally turn away from the distracting force and focus on what lies ahead.
I read an article a few years ago about the power behind just seeing the word “FOCUS”; it said that it can mysteriously snap us back on track. It sounds crazy, but I tried it, and it worked for me.
THE FIX: When you find yourself getting distracted, recognize what is happening and remove yourself from the distracting environment. Write the word “focus” and place it in areas where distractions linger. Take it a step further and declare your time and space to be free of distractions in Jesus’ Name. Darkness wants to throw you off course. Stand firm next to Christ, and command the negative ju-ju to leave.
And…there it is…how to achieve goals
If you haven’t quite figured it out yet, the acronym I used for goal sabotage was LAZY. Our goals fall short because we get lazy. Been there, done that! Another way to look at it is that you might say we get a “lazy eye”, not physically, but mentally. We lose sight of our WHY, why am I doing this anyway? We might ask.
The word “lazy” means: unwilling to work or use energy. Talk about a knife in the wound. Lazy isn’t a bad word, especially on your day off. But it can be used against you in all other states of affairs.
My perspective on personal goals and resolutions is this: no one is going to do it for you. If you want it, YOU have to go get it. Staying reactive to things in life isn’t life; that’s existence…you just exist. But when you use your knowledge, resources, talents, strength, and creativity to go after your own goals…that’s not only productive, that’s doing more than existing.
Take things step-by-step, check your motivation, use specifics when setting goals, and FOCUS. May you be filled with dreams, plans, and amazing goals for your soul.
Mental health tips for teens coming right up! Mental health is just like taking care of our physical health. The term “Mental Health” is not a bad word; it’s not “crazy”, and it isn’t something to take lightly. Managing mental health is a daily exercise, just like going for a walk or drinking water for our bodies. I’ve got five valuable tips you’re going to want to check out to get on the road to genuine joy!
Hey Parents! Children are resilient, do you really think?
As parents, we are told to feed our children a variety of foods, to get enough sleep, and to exercise. We want them to learn how to read, do chores, and be responsible. But what about their mental health? No one told me as a parent to teach my child how to deal with stress, depression, or low self-esteem; we were told that children are resilient. Yet, are children really resilient?
In some instances, yes, we all are resilient. But with traumatic events that cause deep wounds, resilience isn’t going to work. From the loss of a friend, a major illness or injury, physical or verbal abuse, bullying, or embarrassing events, some experiences or words, for that matter, will stick with them and affect their psyche. Heck, it happens to us, parents! No one wants to be depressed, let alone their child or teenager. But how do we help them know how to manage mental health?
There are many things we can try at home before jumping to a therapist and prescriptions. **Please know I am NOT a professional counselor, nor am I trying to be. I share information I have either experienced myself or am extremely interested in. This article is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Please consult your physician before jumping into new things.**
Mental health tips for teens: the beginning
For young children, knowing how to manage mental health starts with them watching you do things. They aren’t going to naturally know how to manage depression; they need you to encourage them, show them, and walk alongside them. How you react to circumstances WILL affect them positively or negatively. Their eyes are on you! React well.
My parents were big outdoor people. My mom gardened and my dad worked in the yard; we were outside doing projects and playing all the time. I learned at a young age how to develop a relationship with nature. It was not until later in life I realized how important that relationship was going to be. Nature is my #1 go-to for mental health because that’s what my parents did. For instance, gardening is essential for my mental health. There is something about putting your hands in dirt that helps reduce stress. I learned this from my mom.
The brain and nature balance: a little thing with a BIG impact
Get a load of this. National Geographic wrote, “Nature provides us essentials like clean water, food, medicines, even recreational retreats… it also helps regulate our weather and climate. But these systems are extremely fragile…we know that once they are gone, there are no replacements.” We didn’t need National Geographic to tell us this about nature. However, isn’t that statement similar to our mental health? Our brains need clean water, good food, and recreational escapes to help normalize our well-being. If we don’t get these things, our minds, too, are fragile and will break.
Probably the biggest step in helping ourselves and our teens with mental health management is to acknowledge that we have something going on. Upon discovery, many may experience anger at first, others in denial, but others will feel relief that they have finally figured out a piece of the puzzle. Does that make sense? All in all, when we can embrace it and understand it, we’ll have a better chance of managing it and living that amazing life we always envisioned.
5 Mental health tips for teens
1. Get outside
Remember that relationship with nature I started talking about? The National Academy of Sciences performed a study that shows a simple 90-minute walk in nature (a place with trees) decreases negative thinking about oneself. Taking a walk in an urban area like a city or industrial park has zero effect. This study reveals that there is a “…pathway by which nature experiences may improve mental well-being and suggests that accessible natural areas within urban contexts may be a critical resource for mental health…”
We may not have 90 minutes to take a walk, but I’m sure we can do 20 minutes. The University of Minnesota says there’s “a growing prevalence of depression caused by ‘nature deprivation,” which is largely due to screen time… Push your kids outside. Yes, even your teenagers. Go with them. Just last night, my son and I went outside and played with our dog.
As for other ideas with your teen, start an outside sport together like tennis, pickleball, or throwing a baseball around. Do a project together outside, like a garden, build a hunting blind, do yard work, or have a campfire. Don’t have a yard? Head to the park. Go for a walk. Take up fishing together. My personal favorite is gathering the family together (all ages) and doing The Ultimate Scavenger Hunt Challenge. This is so incredibly fun and inexpensive, perfect for teens to let loose and have fun! You can download the instructions in my Freebies.
Plant trees or volunteer in a park or nature event. If nature goes away, so will our sanity.
For little kids, show them how to build a fort, climb trees, make an obstacle course, look for birds or pretty flowers, or play in the snow. When my son was little, I liked to grab a camera (a camera separate from a phone) and ask for certain pictures to be taken, for instance, anything that was yellow, rocks, funny-looking sticks, and things like that. My son absolutely loved it!
2. Do something kind for the body.
Our bodies take most of the brunt of stress. So instead of cursing your body, bless it! As much as my body and mind are not getting along, I’m still kind to it. When you feel good, you are kinder to yourself and others around you. Do you need to go for a run, have a yoga session, a massage, a hot bath, or a cup of tea on the couch? Do something that makes you feel better, that is good and pure.
Teens, understand your love language. Parents, know what your teen’s love language is, and yours for that matter. If it is gifts, you can encourage them by getting them a simple gift that brings comfort. You can get some comfort gift ideas here. Words of affirmation are powerful; these aren’t just compliments, this is speaking truth into their minds. I have a list of affirmations in my freebies you can download. First things first, understand each other’s love language. You can grab the book: The 5 Love Languages to learn more.
Pray together
And don’t forget the power of prayer. Simply giving it all to our Heavenly Father to sort out gives us natural peace. God is in control, he loves us and wants us to live a life of love. There is nothing better than going to the source to ask for help, clarity, and healing. I also encourage prayer for protection over the Enemy. Body, mind, and spirit are all connected and affect each other.
3. Eat foods for your brain
Food matters! Your brain needs fats, good fats. And getting the clean kind in your body helps your body and brain fight off free radicals…those are the guys that destroy the good stuff. Here is a post about Omega Oils that will help you out. And don’t forget the avocados. I’ve got a great recipe here. Berries are an amazing ‘happy’ food. Stock up on blueberries, raspberries, and strawberries.
Your brain also needs to be hydrated. Drinking more water does help with mood and clarity. There are many water benefits. Stick with filtered water; there is no need to add sweetener or bubbles. Your body knows what to do with plain water. Get a cool-looking water bottle and fill it up with some H2O.
4. Journal
I know this sounds like old news, but if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Journaling works. When our thoughts are written down on paper, more so than typed, it’s like you’ve permitted yourself to let the hurt get out of you. Writing about your journey helps process what’s going on. Journaling is a great exercise to help express emotions, yet feel like they have privacy. When asked the right journaling questions, there can be a lot of healing. Plus, it’s fun to shop for a fun journal.
5. Head to a hobby
A hobby can do loads for mental health. It keeps your hands busy and your mind focused on being creative…and being you! Here’s a post on hobbies with a list of different ones to try. It’s time to get creative and feel the goodness enter your heart.
Anger Management 101
I could end on that, but it’s important to reiterate that a ‘lack of understanding’ usually gets us upset in the first place. Why? Because we don’t understand! That’s why fights happen, and judgments lash. We don’t know why people act the way they do, because we don’t live in their shoes. For all we know, they could be sick, have a chronic illness, be abused, have social issues, or be on drugs. And when we don’t know how to manage those things, a mess of emotions implodes and then explodes on others.
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When we have anger about something, we usually want to do something about it. I’m not talking about anger towards a person when you want to lash out at them for saying something stupid; that’s a different post. The anger I’m referring to is about how we react to either ourselves or a cause that affects other people. Some call it anger, others call it passion. You can take it a step further and call it uniqueness. There is this great book by Matthew Barnett, “The Cause Within You”. I highly recommend this book to not only inspire your own life but also to motivate you to help others. Super good! And your teen would love it and find it motivating.
Moving forward- mental health tips for teens
I’d have to say the majority of people try to ignore their mental state or try to numb it with something else, like drugs, alcohol, shopping, or eating. You don’t need me to say those things just leads to other issues. You can also look at these things as signs that your teen is going through a tough season.
If you have tried some natural ways to manage mental health and it’s not helping, another route would be to find a therapist, a Christ-follower if possible. The only true healer and protector is Jesus. Your church would know of someone, or you can ask some friends. Be sure you straight-up ask them if they know Jesus. If they hesitate with their answer, walk out and find a new one. For more ideas, this post from Mental Health America is a good one! I hope this post about mental health tips for teens was helpful.
How to live your dream life starts with looking at one word in a completely different way. This one thing can be a huge game-changer in how you move forward. To help paint this picture, let’s look at a movie.
In 2018, the movie I Can Only Imagine debuted and has made over $85 million. The song I Can Only Imagine hit radio stations 19 years ago. The story behind the song is based on the life of the songwriter, Bart Millard. When the movie came out, I personally thought it would be a boring movie. Two years later, I finally watched it, and my emotional response shocked me.
Why did the movie grab me so much?
In the summer of 2020, I was in a funk with the rest of the COVID world. We had just come off a 3-week vacation camping at a nearby campground…needless to say, I needed a vacation after the vacation.
As I was flipping through movie options, my finger stopped at “I Can Only Imagine”; it’s Sunday, so why not watch a Christian movie?
The crazy thing about this specific movie was how emotional I found myself. My heart was jumping from one character to another. One minute, I was sad for Bart, and the next, I was upset about his mom. I was sad his dad was so confused. Then my heart ached for his dad when he was trying to figure out the Bible on his own. And then back to Bart of how he heard from God and pursued to live his dream life. But what was I really crying about?
The lie holding you down from your dream life
Deep emotions surfaced from my own past, and as I peered closer to the anchor that had kept me down, I saw a four-letter word written on it. Through my blurred, teary eyes, the word “can’t” became clear.
“You Can’t”
Throughout my life, I have heard “you can’t” from people I love and respect, from people I have trusted, and mostly from myself. With ideas and dreams I’ve shared, I was hopeful for encouragement and instead got, “That’s silly”, “You know how hard you’d have to work?” “You don’t want to do that.” “Do you even qualify to do that?”… “You can’t”… these words were not only verbally spoken, but the Enemy whispered them in my ear as well. These people responded saying, “Don’t even try”.
Not only did I hear it from my family and friends, but I heard it in the media. “You can’t do that without this.” “You can’t lose weight without this system and support team.” And the list goes on.
To add more shine to the word “can’t”, my body was telling me I can’t! My digestive system got so messed up that I was unable to eat a “normal” diet. I have to think about what to order at a restaurant and make sure it’s safe for me to eat. Other ailments loitered and set up camp for months and then years, crippling my ability to sit for long periods and walk without pain.
I was starting to believe I couldn’t do the things I had ideas about. It felt like no one took me seriously or believed in me…even me. Do you know what that’s like?
Keep moving forward
As I reflected on the movie and looked closer at the word “can’t,” I realized something. As you know, some people get motivated when other people tell them they can’t do something. The next thing you know, they’ve achieved that very dream someone told them they couldn’t do! Not all people are like that, but maybe that can change right now. I want you to take a close look at the configuration of the word “can’t”. What do you see?
This movie showed me something I’ve missed for so many years. If you want to l live your dream life, the next time someone says you can’t, look at the letters of the word and be reminded of Philippians 4:13. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Gift for you!
Here’s a little gift for you to help you believe in yourself. Download my 30 favorite affirmations right now. And for more freebies, head over to my freebies page and unlock numerous resources to get you moving forward.
If you haven’t seen the movie yet, I encourage you to watch it or watch it again; you may experience a breakthrough!
Hugs to you. I’ve been there, which is why I feel the need to talk about this topic of infertility. Infertility is unexplainable. Please stop trying to figure it out or, worse, blaming yourself. In this post, you’re going to get 5 tips on how to get through infertility when it comes to miscarriage, plus 3 more infertility help tips to move forward. I hope that you will find love and encouragement in this delicate and vulnerable post.
This post is not for everyone. Although we all have our dark times in life: loss, poverty, addiction, abuse, divorce, or illness. I can’t say I’ve been there in all cases, but I can say, “My heart breaks for you; for I know what it feels like to suffer. You are not alone.”
A bit about my story
In 2010, I lost a beautiful, innocent soul. At 15 weeks pregnant, I had a miscarriage, and we called her Sarah. Infertility is not easy to talk about. I almost didn’t post this. I didn’t want people to think I was seeking sympathy, because I’m not. I’m seeking the fellow broken-hearted. Our trials in life aren’t meant to be hidden; they’re meant to help others in need. Today, I felt a nudge to reach out to those who had miscarried or had infertility issues.
It’s scary to open your book of life, let alone your heart to people, but maybe your story is just what someone needs to hear. “Never waste a hurt,” is what Pastor Rick Warren said in a message. And that is the purpose of this post. I hope that you’ll feel loved and cared for and will receive encouragement in one way or another. I give this post to God and ask Him to speak to you.
Infertility.
Miscarriage and infertility aren’t something that can be forgotten. It is a painful, difficult, and piercing experience. And some days…no matter how long it’s been since, no matter how young or old your baby was, you get a stir in your heart and fall to your knees and cry. I know I do. It’s okay to do that. You are not alone.
When this miscarriage happened, both my husband and I bled with heartbreak. We were confused, mad, and in disbelief. You hear it happen to other people but not you…not you. We walked around like zombies, not saying a word for days. With Christmas around the corner and a 2-year-old tugging at my robe…it was hard to put on the Christmas spirit.
In these tender days, I didn’t need to hear “It’s common”; I needed to hear, “It happened to me, I know what you’re going through”. Not a pep talk, not a statistic, but a down-to-earth connection with someone who understands, and who’s been there.
Infertility help, what can I do?
1. Hug
First off, I want to hug you. There is something powerful in the feeling of touch. I remember when I was pregnant with my son. The pregnancy tortured me with relentless nausea and vomiting. Hyperemesis gravidarum is what I had…unbelievable. Not only was my body in torment, but my mind was a mess, and I spiritually felt dead. All I wanted was to feel His presence. I cried out of desperation to feel better, to just get a few minutes of relief. One Sunday morning, I felt the need to go to church. Getting through the service without having to excuse myself was definitely on my mind. Standing to sing and worship was too difficult for me; I was so weak. This bothered me. Then something amazing happened.
When we went out to the coffee area after the service, I saw a friend of mine. For some reason, I walked directly toward her without saying a word. She then wrapped her arms around me and hugged me. No words were spoken, but I could feel Jesus hugging me. I remembered saying to myself while hugging her, “There you are, Jesus. Where have you been?” I quietly heard him respond with, “I’ve been by your side the entire time.” My friend had no clue as to what was going on. She didn’t know Jesus used her at that moment. This experience taught me that Jesus can use anyone at any time! I SO needed that hug.
2. You are beautiful, healthy, and perfect
Secondly, you are beautiful, healthy, and perfect. You did nothing wrong. I can’t stress the number of times I blamed myself for not eating this or that, for the time I went to the dentist, or for not taking a certain vitamin. Blaming yourself is exactly what Satan wants you to do. He wants you to feel like you did this, when in fact, it was most likely him. Um, yeah. God doesn’t cause these things to happen; the Enemy does.
3. Write a letter
Thirdly, write your child a letter. There were a lot of things I tried to comfort my broken heart and wounded soul. But one thing that helped me was writing my child a letter. There are times when I still write a letter to them. As a mother, there is nothing sweeter than getting a note from her. I believe in my heart that my child gets these letters in heaven.
4. Bless your body
Fourthly, bless your body, do not curse it. This is something I didn’t do, and I wish I had. All I did through my pregnancies, full-term and losses, was curse my body. To me, my body was broken. In reality, my body was doing just what it was supposed to be doing; remember, every body is different. Most importantly, comparing yourself to others is a lost cause. God made you to be different for many reasons, but most of all to bring glory to His kingdom. Use what God gave you, don’t curse it. Bless your body and all its parts. Simply say, “I bless my womb, I bless my ovaries, I bless my heart…” God goes before us; there just might be a big, important reason why the pregnancy didn’t go full term.
5. Keep praying
Lastly and most importantly, keep praying. The Lord is close to you even when you don’t feel Him. Talk to Him about how you feel. He loves you and will comfort you more than anything else in this world. Pray specifically and boldly in Jesus’ name. Ask for forgiveness of your sins, thank Him for all He’s given you, and pray for guidance. There is an app from Wild at Heart that has many prayers to help you. This is a free app. Simply go to the app store and type in Wild at Heart.
3 things I would have done differently
1. No more gluten!
For infertility help, I would have stopped eating gluten/wheat products. At the time, I didn’t show signs of gluten sensitivity or a gluten allergy, but in 2017, I was diagnosed with colitis, which led to a confirmed test that my body was severely reacting to gluten. This article says some startling news about undiagnosed celiac disease and pregnancy, including infertility. Even though I didn’t have celiac, I still stay away from all gluten. Gluten is overrated anyway; it is highly inflammatory and does a number on your digestive tract.
The second thing I would have done differently was to put on my spiritual armor and fight off the Enemy. Frankly, I didn’t know how to fight off Satan with his lies and attacks. Many people ignore the spiritual realm; they either think it doesn’t exist or they think you’re a crazy person for talking about it. But it does exist, the Bible says so multiple times in the Gospels.
When fighting off the Enemy, his foul spirits, demons…and curses for that matter…you need to command them in the name of Jesus Christ to leave you. I know that sounds kind of whacky, but if there is light, there is darkness. After you command them to leave in the name of Jesus Christ, fill your spirit with God’s word and goodness. This isn’t a one-and-done type of deal; this can be a daily need. Here’s a post I wrote about it: Claim Your Life Back: 7 Spiritual Warfare Strategies
3. Help others who need infertility help
Thirdly, for infertility help, I would have focused more on helping others. There’s something about helping others when you’re in so much pain, either with pregnancy complications, infertility, or miscarriage. Even though my physical strength couldn’t do much, I could have written people letters, made crafts for gifts, called friends, and talked about anything but the pain I was going through. There is healing in helping others. It takes the attention off you and puts it on someone else, which is love. And love heals.
You are amazing
No matter how many children you had or didn’t have on this earth, they are still your children. You will be reunited with them in heaven, you will hold them in your arms someday, and you will be all together. I do not know what you have gone through or what you are going through right this very moment. I hope this post on infertility encouraged you in some way or form to bring healing to your heart and soul. My hugs to you.
Anger management tips are not fun words, but words to take seriously. If someone tells you that you have anger issues, they are… unfortunately…probably on to something. So how do we control our tempers before they erupt? I have three simple ways to turn our lion into a lamb.
Anger comes to the party
Let’s start this off with a good old definition of what anger is. According to Dictionary, anger is a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility. Did someone come to mind when you read that definition? Childhood foe? Co-worker? If not, then this person could be you! Anyway…
It seems that every January starts with an unexpected visit from a lion who sets up camp. This wasn’t one of those sleepy lions; this cat was roaring. A New Year, a fresh start, and WHAM, my 2019 was faced with my first of many challenging days. This is 2019, I’m not talking about 2020, 2021, or even the Detroit Lions game against Dallas in 2024!
My anger management was being tested, and I was on the verge of taking the gloves off. Normally, if it were just one issue, I would handle it pretty well, but anger-hungry events kept happening. As I look back at this year, I feel it has prepared me for the years to come. So how can we transform a lion into a lamb? I have a few anger management tips that will work and have you lying in green pastures!
What’s up with Diet Coke?
Let me give you a taste of how January 2019 went. Below-freezing temperatures hit our area, and we had no school for eight days in one month! On one of those days, my son and I were chatting on the couch when suddenly we heard an explosion from the garage. “What was that?” My mind quickly questioned ‘Was someone breaking in? Where was the gas can? Did a tire pop?” As we peered, ever so slowly, into the garage, we were welcomed with a light brownish slush on our screen door. The garage smelled a little sweet. Hmm. As I turned the light on, my eyes widened at the car, the garage ceiling, the recycle bins, and even our boots. This brownish, familiar smell had exploded everywhere. Yep, I guess that’s what happens to a 2-liter of Diet Coke when it freezes.
The test
It was at that moment that I decided to practice my reaction to this roar, “All you can do is clean up the mess. Just do it and move on. Getting mad is not going to fix it.” I shut the door and stood there for a second. “At least it’s frozen”, I said to my son. I grabbed my stocking hat, tightened my scarf, and went to work.
Later that afternoon, I was craving a Diet Coke slushie. After I went through the car wash, I went to the store and got one. The funny thing was, as I backed out of my parking spot, someone else backed up too…we met in the middle…crunch; hmm. My soul took a deep breath in and out, and my inner voice said, “Okay, Christy. No one was hurt. There is no car damage. These things happen. Learn from this, and then move on.” This is just one example of one day I had that January.
Anger Management Tips from Lion to Lamb
Even though January was a bit rough, in hindsight, I’m actually glad it all happened. It’s usually through the bad stuff where we grow the most, no? The salty season reminded me that I have values and morals. I have goals. And I have a family who loves me after a bad day…month…LOL. But that’s not all this lion-of-a-month taught me. He taught me how to transform him into a lamb.
Every week was peppered with dire events: work difficulties, health issues, relationship misunderstandings, car problems, communication predicaments, extreme weather conditions, and big decisions, to name a few. I regularly thought about the superstition that bad things happen in threes, but there were more than three! “What’s going on?” It kind of felt like I was in a boxing ring dodging punches; then I’d get an uppercut to the gut and a hook to the nose. My opponent would then roar like a lion and stand over my body. Okay, maybe not that intense, but I needed to fight back with class.
Tip 1 – Name the Lion
The first trick to fighting the urge to blow your top is to notice it. Identify it.Give the feeling a name: Doubt, Insecurity, Frustration, Unfairness, Confusion, or whatever it is. No one likes to call these out, but it helps to pinpoint the issue. What exactly are you upset about? Are you mad at a person, or are you upset about this person’s behavior? Do you have chronic physical pain? Are you sick and exhausted? Is your work stressing you out? Feeling overwhelmed? Family drama?
Pay attention to what is going on around you, not to sulk in your despair, but to put a stop to it! What exactly is happening? Why is it affecting you so much? Can you name it? In my instance in this particular case, it had been cloudy for weeks, sickness everywhere, bills coming in, and goals were strapped for time. On the not-so-obvious note, my hormones were haywire, my values were compromised, and people-pleasing got the best of me. But when I named why I was getting angry, I could then fight back with the right punches.
Anger Management Tip 2 – Focus
The second tip for anger management is knowing the pace. The frequency of these downers was happening one right after the other. My thinking immediately shifted from rolling it off my back to what was coming next. This can be looked at as a good thing and a bad one. The good help with being alert, ready to act, and prepared for the not-so-fun. The bad taints perspective. It’s like we’re looking for the grim so we see the grim. Here’s the trick with the good and the bad: what you focus on is what you’ll see the most of. Pace yourself.
3 – Skill. Train the Lion
When it comes to anger management tips, this tip is like a tip on steroids. Skill in managing your emotions is a must, and yes, it is a skill! How are we handling the situation? This skill needs to be continuously worked on. My awareness of how I managed these troubles became clear to me. Some I did well with, others…um…I could have done better. I don’t like to admit I blew some things out of proportion, but gosh, it happens to all of us. So, how do we train and master the skill of anger management?
Here are 7 techniques:
Understand the triggers. Have a plan of how you’d like to react. Play it over in your head and practice.
Use this opportunity to better yourself, not to hurt others, but to strengthen your character. Get to know who you are.
Flip the switch and focus on the good things. Seriously, write down or discuss at the dinner table what good things happened that day.
Turn to God. He might be trying to get your attention or even protecting you from something worse. Yes, spiritual warfare happens. Fight off the Enemy with God’s armor, Ephesians 6:13-17. It also helps to call the enemy out on it, “STOP! Away from me!” Jesus did, why wouldn’t it work for us? Ask Jesus to help you.
If you don’t have someone you can trust to vent to, write in a journal. Get it out.
Give your mind a break and your body a good sweat. Exercise helps your brain be more creative, and it kicks in your problem-solving skills. Not to mention, exercise helps relieve stress. Here are 10 Breakthrough Tips on how to reduce stress in your life.
Distract your thoughts. Again, get your mind on something else that keeps you busy for a while. It gives you time to regroup.
Practicing these training techniques over and over again will help us see lions as lambs. Give’er a try and keep moving forward.
Ironically, during the latter half of the month, my husband heard on the radio that the third Monday in January is called “Blue Monday”. Apparently, a university professor used a formula to calculate the most depressing day of the year. WHAT?! The date was calculated by these factors: poor weather, debt level, post-Christmas blaa, time since failing our New Year’s resolutions, and low motivation levels. You can see the formula here. After my husband told me that news, I felt SO MUCH BETTER! Light bulb moment here: I wasn’t alone. And maybe that’s all we need to know when going through a lion season…we’re not alone.
In conclusion: anger management tips
Anger management may be kind of embarrassing, but taking the steps to know how to handle the triggers will not only help you have more peace in life, but it’s also better for your heart, relationships, and self-confidence. These tips are to be practiced over and over again, so that next time a challenging and tempting situation comes up, you’ll know just what to do to keep your cool. Keep moving forward and pay attention to what sets you off.
