Let’s get this straight: stress management is a skill. Managing stress is something we learn either subconsciously or consciously. In some ways, how we manage stress is a form of protection. Stress management can either be healthy or unhealthy; it’s a matter of what we have learned. We’ve all heard that stress kills; friends, this is real. Let’s choose wisely in how we manage stress. You’ve got a lot of living to do; it’s time to hone in on healthy stress management techniques. We’ll talk about 5 of my favorite stress management tips to get you started today!
Stress management is a form of protection?
Stress eating, smoking, drinking, excessive exercising, scrolling, shopping, harming one’s body, are all forms of stress management that were learned at some point in life to calm the anxiety, worry, trauma, wounds, or events. That’s a mouthful, and that is what is going on every day around us! We grab whatever we can to numb the pain that targets pleasure points like taste buds, eye-candy, touch, anything that can raise endorphins higher than the cortisol levels. I think it’s safe to say, we’ve all been there. It breaks my heart that some of us are still there. But we don’t have to be, and there is a way out.
Control is what we seek. There is no shame in that. As naive children, when stressful situations arose, we subconsciously learned how to protect ourselves. Lashing out in anger, running away, crying, narcissism, or silencing ourselves are some subconscious ways of protection that kids use. Moreover, we likely learned other harmful techniques from influencers in our lives. The world says kids are resilient; the world is wrong. Do you know what resilient means? It means to recover quickly from difficult situations. Adults can’t even do this, and kids can? These deep wounds that kids/adults experience are profound, and they resurface from time to time, revealing all the ugliness. We have the ability to change all that!
Let’s learn some healthy ways to manage stress that can make a big difference in our lives and in our children’s lives. Kids learn from watching us. These techniques I’m about to tell you are simple things with a big impact. And no, it’s not expensive. Any age group can do these things. The hard part is breaking free from the conditioning you learned years ago, a few months ago, or even last week. We’ll talk about that in a little bit.
Fix it, please!
Here’s a small personal story to get you started. Years ago, I accidentally deleted my entire website. Yeah, ‘File Not Found’ stared at me in the eyes. My stress level went from zero to a hundred in a matter of milliseconds. Worry settled in, and in a matter of 60 seconds, anxiety took residency.
Furthermore, because I did my own website work, I couldn’t just call a web person and say, “Fix it, please!” All this hard work…GONE. The “undo” button or back arrow was pointless in this case. I tried it. Do you ever have times like these? When you ask yourself, “Why did I just do that? Did that happen?” Wishing there was an “undo” button?
It’s funny when these stressful mistakes occur, and we believe for a split second, maybe it will go away and fix itself if we just close our eyes. Tell me I’m not the only one who thinks this.
Hubby? Are you awake?
Above all, what really put the icing on the cake was that this website disaster occurred right before bed. Like sleep was going to happen! My brain was fried. Knuckles locked. Fingertips deaden. The courage to push the keys on my keyboard was in deep jeopardy. As a result, when I did find the strength to push buttons, I immediately checked my backup… it wasn’t working! My ears got hot and my gut started to cramp.
My husband was sleeping already…not that he knows anything about websites…but I needed someone by my side to listen to my predicament. When we “vent,” it’s like we release the problem from our minds. Perhaps the listener can relate to how to approach the subject. Talking it out with someone is very helpful.
When no one is there
Since my husband was sleeping, I didn’t want to disturb him; he has enough sleeping issues as it is. With no one available, I folded my hands and closed my eyes tight, “God, I’m freaking out. I made a mistake and I’m not sure how to fix it. Please help me dig deep and figure this out.” And then I prayed again. What I love about Him, is that He is always awake and available.
What’s next? The size of my problem.
After giving it to God, I needed to do something else for a minute. All I wanted to do was escape, to get out of the room, away from the keyboard. In the black of the night, I slid on my slippers, grabbed a towel, and walked outside. The dark sky was peppered with pinhole lights. It was a welcoming reminder of how small my problem was and how big the world is. “Was anyone else in their backyard stressing out like me?” Probably.
As I folded my towel into a neat square, I anticipated sitting on it to just be. The shadowy trees surrounded me, but not in an intimidating way. No bugs, no noises, just stillness. I watched my breath let go. The quietness blanketed my shoulders. The earthy air filled my nose. I felt a peace embrace my soul. At that moment, God was telling me all was going to be okay.
Selective Perspective
The value of this stressful night revealed to me the power of perspective. If I didn’t get stressed out, then I wouldn’t have prayed, I wouldn’t have felt the nudge to go outside, I wouldn’t have encountered nature in its nightly glory, and I wouldn’t have experienced the healing powers of my backyard.
According to the New York State Department of Environmental Conservation, spending even just five minutes around trees or in green spaces, like your backyard, helps lower blood pressure, reduces stress, improves mood, instills focus, accelerates healing, increases energy, and improves sleep.* And you wonder why I craved to get outside…
The article goes on to say, “Numerous studies show that… simply sitting looking at the trees reduces stress-related hormones.” Nature can heal and soothe the soul. Going outside isn’t just for kids to play in, but for us to pray in. You’re going to want to check out my post on Nature Quotes: the power of the outdoors.
Focus on the calm
Consequently, I know this is hard, but when you encounter a stressful situation, I challenge you to pause for a few minutes. To not reach for that quick fix of ice cream, smoke, or anger outburst. But to think, for just a second, about who you are, how you want to react, and to immediately ask Jesus for help. Do not let the Enemy have a foothold on you; he will rob, lie, and destroy. Jesus will rescue, protect, and lead you to the way everlasting. Period.
Let me remind you that God made you, He made your body, how it functions, and He knows how to manage stress healthily. Call on Him immediately, pause and listen, love yourself, and pray again. In doing so; you will gain a better perspective of the issue and will respond more wisely.
After a good 30 minutes, I wasn’t worried anymore. Whether I had to start from scratch or come up with a different solution, it was going to be alright. That night in my backyard, I stood up, shook my towel out, and walked back inside. My feet slid out of my slippers, and I went to bed. I actually slept.
5 Healthy Stress Management Tips
#1 Talk it out. Talk with a friend, family member, and/or Jesus.
#2 Pray without ceasing. Pray. Pray some more. Most importantly, pray in Jesus’ Name.
#3 Go outside and take a breather. Get outside! God made the outdoors. He’s out there waiting for you. Get by some trees and just be. Go in the rain, snow, day, or night, I promise you it will help.
#4 Rest to be your best. Take a nap or go for a walk.
#5 Repeat. Do this all again and again until it comes naturally when ugly stress visits. Retrain your brain.
My takeaway
The next morning, after a good night’s sleep, I got up extremely early to mend my mishap. With a well-rested body and mind, I was diligent in figuring this out. Hence, venturing into the back end of my website was scary but I succeeded and found an older backup. Thank the Lord! Later that day I took a long walk amongst the trees while being grateful for my state of being.
How to break free from the conditioning? As I said, this can be hard, but it’s 100% doable. Discipline yourself to go through the 5 steps above, retrain your brain to do these things. First and foremost, ask Jesus. He knows you better than you know yourself. Go to Him. Pray and ask how to do it. You may be surprised at how simple yet powerful it is.
Before you go, check out these other great posts on stress.
How to Reduce Stress in Your Life: 10 Breakthrough Tips
4 Simple Reduce Stress Strategies for You & Your Kids
3 Simple Anger Management Tips: Lion to Lamb
5 Stress Fighters Most People Forget
By CT Copyright © 2019 More Than Existence, All Rights Reserved
