How to live your dream life starts with looking at one word in a completely different way, this one thing can be a huge game-changer in how you move forward. To help paint this picture let’s look at a movie.
In 2018 the movie I Can Only Imagine debuted and has made over $85 million. The song I Can Only Imagine hit radio stations 19 years earlier. The story behind the song is based on the life of the songwriter, Bart Millard. When the movie came out, I personally thought it would be a boring movie. Two years later, I finally watched it and my emotional response shocked me.
Why did the movie grab me so much?
In the summer of 2020, I was in a funk with the rest of the COVID world. We had just come off a 3-week vacation camping at a nearby campground…needless to say I needed a vacation after the vacation.
As I was flipping through movie options my finger stopped at “I Can Only Imagine”; it’s Sunday, so why not watch a Christian movie?
The crazy thing about this specific movie was how emotional I found myself. My heart was jumping from one character to another. One minute I was sad for Bart, and the next I was upset about his mom. I was sad his dad was so confused. Then my heart ached for his dad when he was trying to figure out the Bible on his own. And then back to Bart of how he heard from God and pursued to live his dream life. But what was I really crying about?
The lie holding you down from your dream life
Deep emotions surfaced from my own past, and as I peered closer to the anchor which has kept me down, I saw a four-letter word written on it. Through my blurred teary eyes the word “can’t” became clear.
“You Can’t”
Throughout my life, I have heard “you can’t” from people I love and respect, from people I have trusted, and mostly from myself. With ideas and dreams I’ve shared, I was hopeful for encouragement and instead got, “That’s silly”, “You know how hard you’d have to work?”, “You don’t want to do that”, “Do you even qualify to do that?”… “You can’t”… these words were not only verbally spoken, but the Enemy whispered them in my ear as well. These people responded saying, “Don’t even try”.
Not only did I hear it from my family and friends, but I heard it in the media. “You can’t do that without this.” “You can’t lose weight without this system and support team.” And the list goes on.
To add more shine to the word “can’t”, my body was telling me I can’t! My digestive system got so messed up that I was unable to eat a “normal” diet. I have to think about what to order at a restaurant and make sure it’s safe for me to eat. Other ailments loitered and set up camp for months and then years crippling my ability to sit for long periods and walk without pain.
I was starting to believe I couldn’t do the things I had ideas about. It felt like no one took me seriously or believed in me…even me. Do you know what that’s like?
Keep moving forward
As I reflected on the movie and looked closer at the word “can’t” I realized something. As you know some people get motivated when other people tell them they can’t do something. The next thing you know they’ve achieved that very dream someone told them they couldn’t do! Not all people are like that, but maybe that can change right now. I want you to take a close look at the configuration of the word “can’t”. What do you see?
This movie showed me something I’ve missed for so many years. If you want to l live your dream life, the next time someone says you can’t, look at the letters of the word and be reminded of Philippians 4:13. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Gift for you!
Here’s a little gift for you to help you believe in yourself. Download my 30 favorite affirmations right now. And for more freebies head over to my freebies page and unlock numerous resources to get you moving forward.
If you haven’t seen the movie yet, I encourage you to watch it or watch it again, you may experience a breakthrough!
How to simplify my life is more than just throwing my stuff out. We’re getting rid of stress and welcoming happiness into our home. Simplifying and organizing are sometimes used interchangeably, but we’re not going to organize today. We’re going to focus on simplifying our space by knowing how to do it without stress or frustration.
If you want to have peace, experience freedom, and have more space, let alone functional space, it starts with who you are and how you operate. You are a smart person, you’re creative, and you have an amazing future. So this task of simplifying is going to need your mind, creativity, problem-solving skills, and an understanding of yourself.
Are you ready to reduce stress in your life? Come on, do more than exist, this will be a game-changer for your stress level. And you’ll feel good about it too.
The top 5 pieces of advice to simplify my life
1. Simplifying your life is a lot harder than you think.
To make simplifying work for you, you must include your brain. To make this experience a fantastic one, you’ll want to do two things: get in the right frame of mind and understand your motives.
Do you want to find things easier? What about getting rid of sour memories to make room for sweet ones? Do you want to create more space? Clean up? Do you want to live lighter? Or do you want to downsize? What is your motive for simplifying?
2. Ask yourself questions.
Grab a cup of coffee and get to work. Since I’m on a roll with questions, we’re going to keep going! When asking yourself, “How do I simplify my life?” Ask more questions. Let’s say you come upon your old t-shirt from high school, let’s ask yourself a few things:
– Why am I holding on to this?
– How is this going to change my life for the better?
– When was the last time I used it?
– Can someone else use it?
– Is this something I could sell this week?
– Is it worth the space in my house let alone mind?
– Are there positive vibes from this item or negative?
It’s important to ask yourself these questions when you run into something that might be hard to let go of. When push comes to shove, just remember you can’t take it to heaven.
3. Simplify my life step by step, but not too slowly
Okay, so decluttering and cleaning isn’t a fun thing for you? We all have our dislikes but we still need to do them if we want something done. For instance, I don’t like washing the kitchen floor. However, what helps me get it done is scheduling it. Simple yet effective. I can then mentally prepare myself and start visualizing how awesome it would be to have a clean kitchen floor. With that said, take a look at your schedule and block off some time to start your decluttering project. Get serious about your space.
Yes, this kind of task is a big deal. Have you seen those shows about hoarding? There’s a little hoarder inside of us all. Go about this step by step. Maybe tackle the kitchen one day, then the bathroom another day, and so forth. You got this!
4. Get it out of your living space.
When you start to sort through things, get them out of your living space. By removing it from your living space you’ll get a taste of how much you miss it or not miss it; plus you’ll see how much stuff you are getting rid of. This is an easy technique that is extremely helpful. It helps brighten a room! Get more tips on how to brighten a room here.
This can be a big eye-opener and can even change your spending and collecting habits for the better! I have been known to make snow angels on the floor after a declutter day.
5. Make 4 piles.
Make piles: keep, donate, sell, and pitch. When you plan on having a garage sale, designate a space to keep all those things…like your garage or closet. Same rule for things to donate or to sell online. As for pitching, start a pile and fill your garbage bin every week until it’s gone.
Wrapping up how to simplify my life
We’ve lived in the same house for over 17 years. Within those years we have had four garage sales and numerous trips to the donation center. Every garage sale blew my mind with how much stuff we were keeping and not using! With our quarterly clean-out, I still get amazed at how much stuff we accumulate in a matter of months!
When you get in the right mode for simplifying you’ll be surprised at the things you have kept over the years and the things you still want to keep. This is YOUR living space we’re talking about, make it the way you love it. When you enjoy how you’re living you’ll be a whole lot happier.
Pride. Good? Bad? Let’s see in play and start practicing how to manage it. Ironically, I’ve got 5 ways to feel like Wonder Woman and pride ain’t one of them. PLUS! You’ll get tips on how to reduce stress along with an amazing gluten-free chocolate chip cookie recipe!
Get the recipe below, plus where I get the special ingredients.
Pride. What is it?
First off it was pride that got Satan kicked out of heaven. Yup. I’m starting with that. Secondly, pride is actually a weakness. How? One definition is this: pride is demeaning other people or feeling an aversion to others. It kind of sounds like pride has ingredients of envy, comparing, insecurity, being critical of others, disrespecting others, thinking you’re better than everyone else, and narcissism. I wouldn’t want that in my house either! Yet, because we live in a broken world, we’re going to find that in our house and in ourselves at times. So what do we do? How did we get it?
The setting, can you relate to?
Tears streamed down my cheeks. “Dear God, how am I going to do this? I have too much going on…too many hats to wear. Christmas is coming and I am the shopper, decorator, home manager, wife, mom, personal banker, blogger, volunteer, and now a student.”
Do you see what I see? This is what I see. I see my humanness in thinking I am a superwoman; that I can handle all these hats and do a great job. My expectations of myself are full of pride. Yet! I ask God to help me. Hmm.
There is nothing wrong with being busy and wearing many hats. Some people enjoy this kind of thing. But we must look at the motive behind our actions and agenda. Are the motives right with God? Or are the motives to prove to others that you are a superwoman and did it all by yourself and did a great job? Are you looking for that validation from others, that “wow” factor reaction from them? Or are you having fun and doing these things out of the joy of your heart for His Kingdom?
Let’s get vulnerable. I messed up.
That December, in 2017, I got carried away. I had a hard time sleeping, completing a thought, and taking care of my own physical ailments. I just existed. Don’t get me wrong it had its fun times with family and friends; but there were challenging, brain-draining, and humbling realities scattered throughout the month. The Enemy was at work and I didn’t see it.
“You let this little thing tell you what to do?”
– Diana (Wonder Woman)
Wonder Woman Activate
During the second full week in December, my expectations for myself were stupidly unrealistic. Not only did I have the usual Christmas preparations and home duties, but I started an online class! WHAT? “Wonder Woman Activate!” I would say to myself. “Wonder Woman Activate!” I pictured this tall, confident, strong woman with fists on hips seamlessly doing everything with a smile and wind blowing through her hair. Why did I take a fictional character and think I could be her?!
“Wonder Woman Activate! I can do this.” Then out of nowhere as I was looking outside for deep answers, a hawk landed on the back deck. Was this a sign? BARK! Bark, bark, bark! My dog saw the hawk… I snapped out of my dream. There I stood looking outside. My eyes stung. My arms crossed. And a golf ball-sized knot grew in the nook of my neck.
“Wonder Woman Active”, came out of my mouth like a broken record. My mantra did not work.
I found myself on my knees. My dog looked at me and knew what was ahead. Tears streamed down my cheeks. Interlacing my fingers I bowed my head, “Dear God. Help. Help me manage all this.” After a few minutes of “sob-fest”, I sat there looking outside. It felt good to take a breather. Real good. So I gave myself a time-out. My praying hands unfolded and went to the kitchen to get my hands busy. A deep breath filled my lungs as I closed my eyes to envision my ‘go-to’ recipe… Chocolate Chip Cookies.
Wonder Twins
As my hands got busy, my tangled world loosened up just enough to welcome in some wandering. A heaping cup of flour, a pinch of salt, and a few hardy shakes of cinnamon were ready to be mixed. The beaters spun. My brain zoned in on the mesmerizing hand mixer. The hum of the beaters, the swirl of the dough, and the smell of sweetness filled my senses. Then it was as if time clicked into slo-mo. Thunk-a, thunk-a, thunk-a. Each beater spun with poise. Each beater focused on the job. Together they mixed the ingredients with accuracy. I watched them work. Thunk-a, thunk-a, thunk-a. Wait for a second…I watched them work. All of a sudden I was back in the Hall of Justice! This time I wasn’t looking to utilize the powers of Wonder Woman, but of the Wonder TWINS!
My “Wonder Woman Activate” affirmation was wrong. I laughed out loud about my realization of my confusion. Let’s try this: “Wonder TWINS Activate!”
I quickly found a picture online of the Wonder Twins. Oh my gosh! Remember Gleek the monkey? Zan and Jayna’s purple bodysuits? Whoa…I have Jayna’s same haircut. Ba ha ha ha!
While cleaning the cookie dough bowl…with my finger…I still laughed about the superhero mix-up. As I detached the infamous dough-draped beaters my thoughts went back to my reality. What was I trying to prove with this juggling of hats? That I could do it all? That I could be that strong woman who holds everything together?
A pride blow to the gut
For one last lick, I swiped my finger in the umbrella of the beater. As I was enjoying the flavors I felt a brick hit my stomach, not because of the raw cookie dough, but because I understood my madness.
I was trying to achieve all these things to prove to myself and others that I could do it all. And do it…all…by…myself. Why?
It was at that moment I realized there was a little something telling me what to do…i. The very letter that is at the center of pride, anxiety, and exist! Pride was getting in my way. Anxiety was stealing my joy. To just ‘exist’ was sabotaging my goals. This letter I was holding me BACK!
It wasn’t the tasks I needed to manage; it was my motive that needed attention.
What did I do next? Five things that made a difference in pride and stress.
I asked God for clarity and perspective.
I found my Wonder Twin, my spouse. And called on him when needed. This wasn’t a competition.
Took things one small step at a time, step, by step, by step.
Made time to hang with my family and put aside the “I”.
Gave myself permission to take a time-out every once in a while and baked cookies.
All n All
For the remainder of the month, my Wonder Twin and I worked together.
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work…” Ecclesiastes 4:9
That December taught me something unexpected; my real superpower came from putting the “I” aside.
The cookies I baked that day didn’t last long. I made another batch that coming weekend. Who knew cookie dough would be so powerful?
1cupKing Arthur's Gluten-Free Baking MixBaking mix. Use a heaping cup.
1/4tspSalt
1/2 tspCinnamon
1/3cupEnjoy Life Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips MiniThese are allergy-free, read package.
Instructions
Preheat oven to 370. Tear a sheet of parchment paper and put it over the cookie sheet.
Add the coconut oil, brown sugar, and cane sugar to glass mixing bowl and mix with hand mixer until mixed together
Add egg, vanilla, and apple cider vinegar. Mix until together
In a separate bowl, add a heaping cup of King Arthur's Gluten-Free Baking Mix, salt, and cinnamon. Hand mix with a fork.
Gradually combine both bowls while mixing with the hand mixer. Mix until all together.
Fold in Enjoy Life Chocolate Chips Mini with a wooden spoon.
Scoop dollops of dough about the size of the wooden spoon and place on the cookie sheet. Allow 1-2 inches between dollops.
Place the cookie sheet in the oven and set the timer for 11 minutes.
While cookies are baking, clean-up the dishes. Please don't eat raw cookie dough due to the egg. We don't need tummy aches.
When cookies are done, slowly transfer them to a cooling rack if you have one. Otherwise, remove the cookies from the cookie sheet in a minute.
Notes
Calorie count is a guesstimate for one cookie when baked. It depends on the size of the cookie. Also the cost of the batch of cookies is also an estimate.
My favorite baking tools and ingredients
Here are some of the ingredients I use for my cookie recipe. Don’t forget to use a glass mixing bowl! Plastic bowls tend to add unwanted flavors to the cookie dough, plus there are chances of chemicals or plastic leaching into your delicious cookies. I use these, you can find them on Amazon.
Click the picture to head to Amazon.
Click on the picture to buy on Amazon.
Best allergen-free chocolate chips on the market! Get yours on Amazon.
In 2007 my confidence collapsed and my heart panted for fullness. My independence, which I held on to so tightly, attached to others. The attitude to do more than exist went to merely existing. I desperately needed to know how to build confidence and courage once again. Have you ever felt this way? Our adversities are not only confusing but paralyzing. However, there are 5 antidotes to help resurrect us.
A little background
My hardship started in September of 2007 with a pregnancy disease that birthed at five weeks and proceeded to torment me for 31 weeks thereafter. During that anguish my skin was pale green, my mind a twisted mess of nausea, and relief was too far to be seen; I was fighting to just exist. Being dependent on others to help me function, let alone trust, made me feel like a failure. Things like I can’t even take care of myselfswarmed my thoughts. Any physical excursion or consumption, or even water, was a cautious and fear-provoked decision. My ribs pierced from wrenching, and dehydration was the foremost threat.
The instant my healthy 7.1-pound baby boy was born, the sickness disappeared. Yet, the mental anguish was far from healing. Have you experienced an event like this in your life? Was it an illness, an unexpected break-up, a massive hit to your bank account, or a loss of something that meant so dear to you? I think the worst of it all is when it’s done, when we think we made it through, after-shocks sucker-punch us with unforeseen triggers we didn’t see coming.
When things don’t go our way
Those days still impress on my psyche today, how can it not? Yet immediately following the birth of my son, the fear of pregnancy halted our family plan. Two years later I knew I had to fight it. I knew I had to give it one more try; after all, every pregnancy is different. This is where I’d like to tell you the second time around was easier, but friend, it was far from that and left our arms empty. I have a post on infertility if you want to read it.
Answers to ‘how was I going to recover my confidence and courage’ slowly inflated my hope. Those answers didn’t come from a special diet, therapist, or medical doctor. The true answers came from one source, Jesus.
You see when I prayed before our second pregnancy, I didn’t hear a “Yes” as I did with our first. With our first baby, my husband and I waited eight years before I drummed up the courage to even pray about it. And when I did pray, I heard a clear “Yes!” But the second go around, I heard a solid “No”. Of course, I didn’t want to believe it, a no to another child? That doesn’t make sense! So I took my destiny into my own hands. And it didn’t turn out as planned…
Bit by bit I had to rebuild my confidence and courage using my anguish as building blocks and my faith as mortar. Jesus didn’t come down from a cloud and profoundly say, “You are healed, child”. I certainly would have accepted that if He did! It was through His followers who physically passed His love on. He used other people in subtle ways to comfort my broken heart and body. Jesus equips us to love, and honestly, that’s all he wants us to do, is love. In 1 Corinthians 13:7-8 Paul says, “It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” (NIV)
I needed to not only learn to lovewho I am now, but I needed to learn how to use love to become the confident and courageous person I sought to be. Moving from just existing to living a life of fullness isn’t about accomplishing amazing feats or earning a special degree, and so forth; it’s about loving others the way Jesus does. It sounds easy, but it’s the doing that’s hard.
Since God is
love. Who do you think we need to connect with to learn how to love? Rick Warren says, “When you are disconnected from God, you’re not really
living; you just exist.”
So, how do we connect with our Heavenly Father? How do we hear clear answers? I go to church. I pray. Isn’t that connecting? Yes, friend, it is. But some easy additions can lead us to live a do-more-than-exist kind of life that will naturally build confidence and courage. Let me share with you what I have learned so far in this journey:
1. Emotion
When clarity is the question, I don’t hold the emotion back. I pray with strong emotion, whether it be anger, sadness, joy, or excitement. Expressing it to Him helps keep things real. Emotion develops a relationship with Him, a trust. Getting together with God will help him show you how to build confidence.
2. Music
Listening, singing, humming, and dancing to music that is good for our souls, brings us closer to our Creator. In this day and age Christian music isn’t just hymns. It has developed to feed all our genres. The writers and bands have done a great job at helping us fend off the Enemy and open our hearts for answers and comfort. Give it a try. I really enjoy praying and listening to instrumental music. My favorite is Soaking in His Presence.
3. Nature
Our beloved Anne Frank says, “The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely, or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quite alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy amidst the simple beauty of nature. …I firmly believe that nature brings solace in all troubles.”
Numerous studies show that… simply sitting and looking at the trees reduces stress-related hormones. And the University of Minnesota says there’s “a growing prevalence of depression caused by ‘nature deprivation.” Maybe we should think about spending more time in God’s creation. Here are some nature quotes to get you in the mindset.
4. Church
There is something to be said about being around other Christ-followers. It’s kind of like a family reunion. Being surrounded by a common denominator encourages us, comforts us, and brings us closer to Him. We all have the same goal so to speak. The hard part is finding a church that fits you and your worship style. Keep hunting until you find it, you’ll know when you found it.
5. Gratefulness
How to build confidence? Being grateful changed my game. For me to love myself and to pass the love on to others, I had to learn how to be grateful even when it didn’t make sense. Gratefulness brought me out of adversity. Before we move forward, understand I’m not grateful for the hardships we face in life. I’m talking about the little things that surround us, those things we don’t even notice; like clean water out of our faucets, cozy beds to rest our bodies, medical help at our fingertips, and grocery stores to feed us. I’m talking about the love He gives us in delicate ways like music, flowers, and comforting smells.
Yet, what about those moments when you step out and help someone? When you smile at someone even though you don’t feel like it…and they smile back? Sometimes to get what we want we have to give it first. I’m grateful for those promptings where we use our gifts to brighten someone’s day even when our life is a mess. It takes courage and confidence to make those things happen. And I’m grateful for the time He gives us and the freedom to choose how to use it, especially if it involves our calling.
In conclusion of how to build confidence
If you’re hurting for confidence in a specific area of your life I encourage you to begin with being thankful for each comfort you receive every day. When we recognize the little things, the small achievements, the flickers of love passed hand to hand, our courage and confidence surface and we begin to see what life is all about…love.
Don’t miss out:
Download my favorite affirmations to help make you stronger. You can get them here.
Stress has touched everyone; knowing how to manage it is something we can all get better at. Just look at our world in the early 2020s. Ouch. Let’s get this straight from the get-go, stress management is a skill. Managing stress is something we learn and practice over and over again. Whether we need help with managing work stress, health stress, stress with parenting, social stress, or stress when moving; let’s hone in on how to get better at it with 5 of my favorite stress management tips!
Fix it, please
Years ago I accidentally deleted my entire website. Yeah, ‘File Not Found’ stared at me in the eyes. My stress level went from three to a hundred in a matter of milliseconds. As a result, about 5 seconds later Worry settled in, and in a matter of 60 seconds, anxiety settled in.
Furthermore, because I did my own website work, I couldn’t just call a web person and say, “Fix it please”. All this hard work…GONE. The “undo” button or back arrow was pointless in this case. I tried it. Do you ever have times like these? When you ask yourself, “Why did I just do that? Did that happen?” Wishing there was an “undo” button?
It’s funny when these stressful mistakes occur and we believe for a split second, maybe it will go away and fix itself, or everything will go back to normal if we just close our eyes. Tell me I’m not the only one who thinks this.
Hubby? Are you awake?
Above all, what really put the icing on the cake was that this website disaster occurred right before bed. Like sleep was going to happen! My brain was fried. Knuckles locked. Fingertips deaden. The courage to push the keys on my keyboard was in deep jeopardy. As a result, when I did find the strength to push buttons, I immediately checked my backup. Well, guess what, it wasn’t working! My ears got hot and my gut started to cramp.
Talking this situation out with someone is a great stress management tip to start with. My husband was sleeping already…not that he knows anything about websites…but I needed someone by my side, to listen to my predicament. Through the years I’ve found healing when I talk to someone about an issue. When we “vent” it’s like we release the problem from our minds and put it out in the world for the world to figure out. Maybe the listener can relate to how to deal with the subject. I see stress as a pressure cooker. When there is too much pressure, we need to open the cap to let some steam out.
When no one is there
Since my husband was sleeping, I didn’t want to disturb him; he has enough sleeping issues as it is. With no one available, I folded my hands and closed my eyes tight, “God, I’m freaking out. I made a mistake and I’m not sure how to fix it. Please help me dig deep and figure this out.” And then I prayed again. God is always awake and He’s available.
After giving it to God, I needed to do something else for a minute. All I wanted to do was escape, to get out of the room, away from the keyboard. In the black of the night, I slid on my slippers, grabbed a towel, and walked outside. The dark sky was peppered with a twinkle. It was a welcoming reminder of how small my problem was and how big the world stands. “Was anyone else in their backyard stressing out like me? Probably.
As I folded my towel into a neat square, I anticipated sitting on it to just be. The shadowy trees surrounded me, but not in an intimidating way. No bugs, no noises, just stillness. I watched my breath let go. The quietness blanketed my shoulders. The earthy air filled my nose. And I felt a peace embrace my soul. There at the moment was God telling me all was going to be okay.
Selective Perspective
The value of this stressful night revealed to me the power of perspective. If I didn’t get stressed out, then I wouldn’t have prayed, I wouldn’t have felt the nudge to go outside, I wouldn’t have encountered nature in its nightly glory, and I wouldn’t have experienced the healing powers of my backyard.
According to the New York State Department of Environmental Conservation, spending even just five minutes around trees or in green spaces, like your backyard, helps lower blood pressure, reduces stress, improves mood, instills focus, accelerates healing, increases energy, and improves sleep.* And you wonder why I craved to get outside…
The article goes on to say, “Numerous studies show that… simply sitting looking at the trees reduces stress-related hormones.” Nature can heal and soothe the soul. Going outside isn’t just for kids to play in, but for us to pray in. You’re going to want to check out my post on Nature Quotes: the power of the outdoors.
Focus on the calm
Consequently, I know this is hard, but when you encounter a stressful situation, I challenge you to focus on calming down immediately. In doing so; you will gain a better perspective of the issue and will respond more wisely. After a good 15 minutes, I wasn’t worried anymore. Whether I had to start from scratch or come up with a different solution, it was going to be alright. That night in my backyard I stood up, shook my towel out, and walked back inside. My feet slid out of my slippers and I went to bed. I actually slept.
5 Stress Management Tips
#1 Talk it out.
#2 Pray without ceasing
#3 Go outside and take a breather
#4 Rest to be your best
#5 Back up everything that’s important to you.
My take away
The next morning, after a good night’s sleep, I got up extremely early to mend my mishap. With a well-rested body and mind, I was diligent in figuring this out. Hence, venturing into the back end of my website was scary but I succeeded and found an older backup. Thank the Lord! Later that day I took a long walk amongst the trees while being grateful for my state of being. Practice how to manage stress. Next time you’re stressed out, take out these 5 stress management tips and see how you do. You may be surprised at how simple it works.
Before you go, check out these other great posts on stress.
How to fight stress is something we need to address every day. Stress can make us do funny things with our actions, words, and even our bodies. Stress is something we live with minute by minute, and not all stress is bad, but we need to find ways how to fight stress when it is harmful to us. Through personal experience, I’ve found some stress fighters packed with a punch. They’re so simple that ANYONE can do it TODAY and get results immediately.
Stress happens
Stress can be sneaky or it can be a slap in the face. My face stung after I accidentally deleted my entire website. The uninvited hot, prickly stress wave crashed on my face when I saw ‘File Not Found’. It’s in these stressful moments when we start talking out loud to ourselves, “WHAT THE? NO!!”
Building my own website and blog was my choice. I wanted the challenge and I wanted a little control…guilty! Doing something like this requires time, perseverance, learning, failing, trying again, and creativity. It has been a journey of gratifying moments and ‘oh crap’ sessions. That night was one of those “Why am I doing this?” sessions. One accidental click, GONE! There have been times when I just want to give up, but something inside of me says, “Come on Christy, keep moving forward, this will matter someday”.
Stress is like a leech that won’t detach.
Stress saps the life out of us. So how do we manage this life-sucking Jabba the Hutt from our bodies? First of all, I hate leeches. Years ago I went on a fishing trip in the Boundary Waters of Minnesota. It was an amazing trip, but guess what we used as bait? Leeches! I screamed every time I TRIED to bait my hook. The leech latched onto my finger…not cool! Do you think vigorous shaking of my hand and screaming got the leech off? Leeches don’t have ears. My husband had to pull it off for me… every time.
What if we could see stress attached to our bodies? We’d probably do a better job at managing it or at least knowing how to manage stress. Stress is the cause of many ailments. It’s because cortisol, the stress hormone, has a heyday in our bodies. Chronic high levels of cortisol contribute to IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome), heart disease, anxiety, high blood pressure, hormonal imbalances, autoimmune disorders, sleep disturbances, and the list goes on. Those health ailments you are dealing with might be because of stress…just saying it’s very possible.
Are your stress fighters working?
The way to detach stress is to naturally fight back with things that decrease those levels, right? Easier said than done. So get this…some people will use things to manage their stress that causes MORE stress! I’m talking about eating a pint of ice cream, sugar-filled gluten-rich desserts, a bag of salty snacks, alcohol, smokes, or pills. Sure, in the short run, those things might help numb the issue; but in the long term, the leech is feasting on those inflammatory substances. All those foods inflame your innards. Without awareness or portion control, that inflammation can lead to physical issues = STRESS! It’s a vicious cycle. Believe me, I know!
Back to my website for a second. I wanted to fix my website immediately. But all I could do at that moment was intertwine my fingers and pray. I needed someone to pull the leech off. So why not ask God? As calmly as I could I prayed, “Dear Gracious God…wait a second, OH GOD. AH! I DELETED MY WEBSITE!! HELP ME FIGURE THIS OUT. PLEASE! AMEN.” Not the best prayer, but who is judging?
My Awakening
It felt as if my fingertips went numb. Whoa, what is happening to me? God is that you? An angelic song filled my house as divine power struck my body. Light beams shot out of my fingertips. I started levitating. Wait. Wait. That’s Beauty & the Beast. See how stress can make you think of funny things. As much as I wanted the Beauty and the Beast resurrection, I knew it wasn’t in the plan. God did answer my prayer, but in a way I didn’t expect. He nudged me to move.
Christy, manage the stress, before managing the problem. I closed my eyes; inhaled a deep breath and exhaled slowly. I was afraid to touch the keyboard, so I took that as a sign to step away. My desire to go outside to sit next to my favorite tree was unstoppable. Strange? Eh. Kind of. But with good reason…
According to the New York State Department of Environmental Conservation, spending even just five minutes around trees or in green spaces helps lower blood pressure, reduces stress, improves mood, instills focus, accelerates healing, increases energy, and improves sleep. And you wonder why I craved to get outside…
The article goes on to say, “Numerous studies show that… simply sitting looking at the trees reduces…stress-related hormones… Looking at pictures of trees has a similar, but less dramatic, effect.” Get outdoors and if you can’t sit imagine you are in nature.
I trusted that instinct and sat next to my blue spruce, whom I named Bruce. Its soft yet firm pine needles combed my sweaty palms. The sky was black and peppered with stars. My body relaxed. Heart quieted. I was reminded of how big our world was and how I was making this little mistake bigger than the world! Within a matter of minutes, a calm came over me. “Hi God, it’s me again… thanks for getting me outside. I needed that.”
How to manage stress: 5 stress fighters most people forget
#1 Admit it. Say, “I’m stressed out. ___ is causing my stress.”
#2 Say a prayer… Your Creator may need to remind you of something.
#3 Find your happy OUTDOOR place and go there… the beach, woods, prairie, park, yard…Go barefoot a.k.a “Earthing” and SMILE.
#4 Create an environment that promotes peace. Pictures of the beach, mountains, trees, sunrise, a garden…whatever nature scene speaks to you. Put a picture or two in your office, cubical, or wallet. Have it handy.
#5 Incorporate an outdoor recess at work or home, whether it’s exercising, reading the paper, walking the dog, playing with the kids, a lunch break, or just getting outside.
In conclusion
This may sound too simple, but you’ll find it’ll make a BIG impact. The next morning I mended my website mishap. It so happened, that I found a backup on the server. But I wouldn’t have been able to figure that out without a clear head, a good night’s sleep, and a little time outside with my trees. Do your existence a favor, get outside. When you feel stressed, experiment and go outside for 10-20 minutes and see what happens to your stress level.
Before you go, check out these other posts about stress:
If you want to know how to be more creative it starts with understanding the purpose of creativity. How to be creative is meant to be yourself. Taping into our God-given talents and abilities helps us naturally be creative. A big part of how to be creative is permitting yourself to let go of the world and unlock the abilities God gave you. Doing that can be scary, however, getting the right frame of mind might help ease you into your creative side. Holley Gerth, the Christian author, said it perfectly, “Your dream is a gift God gives you. What you make of it is your gift to Him.” This involves creativity!
Don’t get discouraged in how to be creative
I’ll never forget when I was 10 years old; I reached for the flour in an overhead cupboard. My fingertips were millimeters away from the canister. One… more… bit… CRASH! I was successful in getting the flour down, but it wasn’t in the canister. I stood there and sulked as my older sister laughed at me and called me “Casper”. Creativity can get messy.
Back then my dream was to become a baker. I loved baking cookies, muffins, and quick breads. Mixing simple ingredients with my signature twist was so fun. Unfortunately, it’s harder for me to bake these days. Since I’ve gone gluten-free it makes it more challenging to bake, but I still try and experiment with what I have. 🙂 My baking dream might have gotten messy with my diet restrictions but it hasn’t terminated my need to create.
How to know if you’re being creative
One way to know when you are using your creative side is when you lose track of time. It’s those moments in between clock numbers when you truly feel alive. Whether it’s cookies, a garden, a writing piece, or simply drawing a picture on your child’s lunch sack. It’s gratifying to see what your creativity can create.
Why creativity is important: don’t miss this!
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Creativity isn’t just for fun. Creative thinking can solve problems, help us perform better at our jobs, help with depression, and help make a difference in people’s lives. Look at music, art, dance, and literature… what are those talents trying to do? Matthew Barnet has a great answer from his book, The Cause Within You.
He says, “Fulfilled artists do not paint or sculpt for the sake of creating more art. They do it to move people and challenge them to see the world differently. “
The scary part about creativity
From CreatingMinds.org they say our creativity fades away when we don’t use it. As in the Bible, it says, “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything…” Matthew 5:13. (NIV)
In our busy lives, it’s important to take a time out to be creative; and to take a small step in becoming the unique person we were intended to be not just for ourselves, but for the sake of others. More importantly, using our creativity is an excellent way to love God! He gave you the ability and talent, use it to give thanks to Him.
All in all
The creativity flame still glows in us. Feed the fire within. There is no better time to get our hands busy; our minds will love it, our hearts will feel good, and we may spark something in someone’s minutes.
How to build self-esteem is so critically important, that it WILL affect your future. Talk about a simple act with big impacts! Do more than exist today by working on your confidence and self-esteem. I’m not saying for you to walk around and boast about yourself. The people who have the greatest self-esteem are those who listen more and talk less. I have 3 tips to help us know how to build confidence and self esteem right now.
Lately, I have been reviewing my life and asking myself if I’m happy with how I’ve been living. In most areas of my life I can confidently say Yes, I love it. But in others, I can’t say yes. And when I can’t say yes, I start comparing myself to others in that particular area. And then I find myself with low self-esteem that seems paralyzing. Ugh, friends, I hate this when this happens!
Comparing and Self-esteem
Yes, I’m jumping right to the Bible. There are many Biblical truths about self-esteem, we are God’s workmanship (Ephesians 2:10), we are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), and we are chosen (John 15:16) to name a few. But there is one verse that really strikes me. Before I mention it, I want you to know that when we start comparing and trying to be like everyone else… just to be liked…that’s when low self-esteem makes its way to our thoughts, words, and actions. Is that what you want? I, personally, do not want you in this place. I’ve been there and it made me gain weight, brought on depression, and affected my path in life. Live in the freedom with who you are today and every day in moving forward.
A good verse to memorize
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world. Instead, be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is…His good, pleasing, and perfect will. Romans 12:2 (NIV)
This verse is a good one to memorize, especially if you find yourself comparing and going along with the crowd. Not to mention how to build self-esteem and confidence. Claim this scripture as yours. Pray it, say it, and be aware of what you are putting into your mind. I was finding myself comparing my pattern of life to others’ patterns of life. The reason I started to even do that was because of two areas in my life that weren’t like everyone else’s, my career and family size (I had a miscarriage).
The comparing game
Seeing other people climb the corporate ladder, own a thriving small business, and stay in the job for years on end, can affect us. The problem is comparing. And how can I even start to compare? Sham on me! Everyone’s life is so incredibly different. We don’t know what others’ childhood was like, we don’t know their educational background, their physical health, we don’t know what happens at home, and we don’t know the problems they deal with, so what right do we have to compare or judge for that matter? We don’t have a right. These “successful” people may be comparing themselves to you and want what you have!
So what do we do?
We mind our own business and focus on the goals we are passionate about. Our job is to enhance our talents, abilities, and gifts and to know how to love others by using what we’ve got. Our Creator (God) made us to be us and no one else. We need to trust in Him to embrace who we are and love ourselves. When we love ourselves, we can love others the way we love ourselves (Mark 12:31). Yet, there is one thing we must have to move forward, motivation.
3 Tips to help stop comparing and how to build self-esteem:
1. Pray for your eyes to be opened to the talents, abilities, and gifts God has given you to be revealed and for your mind to be renewed.
2. Remind yourself that everyone is different… every day. Comparing is not helpful at all! Read affirmations daily. When you lovingly talk to yourself, your self-esteem grows tremendously. This is a powerful exercise that will help you to love yourself. Get to know who you are. By the way, loving yourself isn’t selfish or conceited. You can download a list of my favorite affirmations in Freebies.
3. If you want something to happen, YOU need to make it happen. We can dream all day, but executing those dreams is scary. Ask yourself “How bad do I want it?” If you want it bad enough, you’ll need to pull your big girl pants up and go get it. You got this. Please keep moving forward without regrets. Take things step by step.
All in all
God is with us every step of the way, He wants us to enjoy life and flourish. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, instead help the world come alive by being YOU. Your uniqueness is an amazing gift, use it while you have it.
Be sure to check out these other great posts to build confidence.
Off-track? Want to know how to set goals and achieve them? When our goals and declarations stutter to a stop, our proactive self immediately turns into a reactive being. We get into a vicious cycle of reacting to our circumstances instead of making things happen. I’m here to help you prevent that from happening. Learn my 4 repair tricks to knowing how to achieve goals!
What ain’t gonna work
Forward is the right direction, no? As with anything moving forward, it’s a lot easier to use a flashlight than to stumble in the dark. A key to knowing how to achieve goals is to understand what throws us off. What are your triggers and how do you defeat them?
Picture this; we start the year off strong. The first week we’re super motivated. The second week it gets a little harder. The third week something happens; we’re not sure what…but we veer off course; so much so we decide to set up camp. I’ve personally been there many times. Frankly, my old patterns are comfortable, they’re easy. But friend, there is something else I’ve learned; “comfortable” and “easy” ain’t gonna getcha where ya want ta go. So let’s learn more about what trips us up in the first place.
Here are the top stumbling blocks:
L = LIES we believe.
It’s too hard. Let’s face it, when things are hard ‘quitting’ comes to mind. This year quitting is not an option. Your goals need to be challenging, but they don’t need to be hard. There’s a difference. It’s called pace and workload. It’s too hard is a lie. Are you looking for an excuse to stop? When things get hard it is SO easy for us to quit. Here’s the thing, when you quit you’re on the verge of a breakthrough, and you just missed it because you gave up. Keep moving forward. When hard things are taken step by step it’s heck-of-a-lot easier to make things happen.
THE FIX: Break down your resolution and put a plan in place. Write down what you want to do every week, then every day, then every morning and evening. Get into a routine that helps you win. I don’t care how small the step is, you’re still moving forward. Make the day count. I created a mind map that will help you take things one step at a time. This is actually a great family activity to do; you’ll hold each other accountable!
A = ACTIONS WE DON’T TAKE.
There’s a lack of motivation. When I’m unmotivated I procrastinate. I wait until I FEEL like it. Well if I waited until I FELT like it all the time, nothing would move forward and I would have regrets. There are a couple of things I’m talking about. In order to know how to achieve goals, the first is to understand the purpose. Why must this get done? What space does it fill? What piece of my goal does this satisfy? The second is the FEEL part. This is a time when you pull up your bootstraps and put the emotions aside.
THE FIX: Ask yourself, “How am I going to feel when I get this done?” If your answer is ‘relief, amazing, good, a load off’, then that means it needs to happen…make it so. This is so incredibly good for your mental help and confidence.
Z = ZOMBIE GOALS.Sabotage #3
How to achieve goals is to have specific goals. The sabotage is that our goal is not specific. It’s like we’re walking around like zombies. Let’s say my resolution is to manage my finances better; I declare “I’m going to save money this year.” Then what? Ask yourself these questions: Who? What? When? Where? How? Who is going to help me? What changes am I going to do? When am I going to review these things? Where am I going to go if I need help? How am I going to succeed? When you have the answers to these questions you have a better view of how it’s going to happen.
THE FIX: be specific when writing your goals, something like this: “I’m going to review my cash flow and budget every Thursday after work.” To help you out in the goal department I created a printable that you can get for free. Head to my Freebies.
Y-YELLERS get our attention.
We get distracted. Distraction is a HUGE sabotage! When our focus isn’t on our end goal we flounder around in circles. Some people get stuck in this pattern and find it harder and harder to break free. To break through this twister, we must intentionally turn away from the distracting force and focus on what lies ahead.
I read an article a few years ago about the power behind just seeing the word “FOCUS”; it said that it can mysteriously snap us back on track. It sounds crazy, but I tried it and it worked for me.
THE FIX: when you find yourself getting distracted, recognize what is happening and remove yourself from the distracting environment. Write the word “focus” and place it in areas where distractions linger. Take it a step further and declare your time and space to be free of distractions in Jesus’ Name. Darkness wants to throw you off course. Stand firm next to Christ, and command the negative ju-ju to leave.
And…there it is…how to achieve goals
If you haven’t quite figured it out yet, the acronym I used for goal sabotages was LAZY. Our goals fall short because we get lazy. Been there, done that! Another way to look at it is that you might say we get a “lazy eye”, not physically, but mentally. We lose sight of our WHY, why am I doing this anyway, we might ask.
The word “lazy” means: unwilling to work or use energy. Talk about a knife in the wound. Lazy isn’t a bad word, especially on your day off. But it can be used against you in all other states of affairs.
My perspective about personal goals and resolutions is this: no one is going to do it for you. If you want it, YOU have to go get it. Staying reactive to things in life isn’t life, that’s existence…you just exist. But when you use your knowledge, resources, talents, strength, and creativity to go after your own goals…that’s not only productive, that’s doing more than existing.
Take things step-by-step, check your motivation, use specifics when setting goals, and FOCUS. May you be filled with dreams, plans, and amazing goals for your soul.
Come January and February the winter blues gradually sneak up on us. Winter blues disorder is a thing. According to Cleveland Clinic having the “winter blues” is actually normal. You’re totally fine to feel a little down during the colder months. They refer to it as SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). Um, yeah, I know I get it. No matter where we live we’re bound to crave sunlight. But it’s not all about sunlight.
What can we do about the winter blues?13 Tips
Here are the best 13 ways to naturally reduce the ‘winter blues’. I go from the most common to the most unique. My personal favorites are #9 and #13.
1- Get Outside…even if it’s cloudy.
There is power in the outdoors even when it’s cloudy. Stepping outside to get the mail can even help fight off the winter blues sad symptoms. Stepping out in nature helps you feel like you did something today, that in itself, a feeling of accomplishment can mend the blues of winter. Do yourself a favor, and give yourself a change of scene, even if it’s a stroll in your neighborhood. Get some fresh air. Yo, getting outside may even help you sleep better at night. Here are a few nature quotes to get you motivated.
2- Open up the shades and pull back the curtains.
Increase the amount of sunlight in your home, again, even if it’s cloudy. Open the shades and curtains! Being closed off to the incredible beauty of creation is depressing. Stop it! Simply opening the curtains or shades during the day is so incredibly healthy for your mind and well-being. This little act makes a huge impact on your psyche. Say goodbye to the winter blues disorder!
3- Take Vitamin D
There are a lot of benefits to vitamin D. One benefit is it improves mood. Taking vitamin D3 also reduces upper respiratory infections. Other vitamin D benefits include bone health, helping the immune system, managing blood sugar levels, fighting heart disease, helping regulate hormones, contributing to memory, supporting skin health, and more. Dr. Axe has more info here. “D” gives you a dose of goodness.
4- Exercise
Beating the winter blues means working hard and outsmarting it! Who cares if it’s cloudy and gray outside? Bundle up and get out there. A bit of fresh air does a body and soul good. There have been studies on how exercise can boost mood. Have you heard of a runner’s high? It exists. But what if you don’t run? Lace-up the walking shoes or slip on the biking shorts! Aim to exercise for at least 30 minutes, an hour would be fantastic. Winter blues sad symptoms have no room in your everyday minutes when you’re heart gets pumping. I like to visualize the negativity leaving my body as I work my body.
5- Set a sleep schedule
When you’re on a sleep schedule, your body will naturally flow with it. It takes a little time, but within a week or two, you should be feeling the positive effects. Stick to all-natural ways to help you fall asleep and stay asleep. Things like avoiding electronics an hour or two before bed, dimming the lights, taking a hot bath, setting a routine, reading before bed, exercising in the morning instead of the evening, and avoiding caffeine after the lunch hour. I went as far as changing out my LED light bulbs to incandescent; yet, it’s hard to those light bulbs these days.
6- Look at what you’re eating.
A special diet to help the winter blues? Yeah, kind of. Change up your diet and eat more Omega-3 fatty acids (salmon, walnuts, flax seeds), berries, dark chocolate, and bananas are beneficial too. Source: Healthline. These types of foods give off happy vibes. I’ve got a great recipe for salmon in a skillet, find my recipe here. What you put into your body does affect how you feel. Get clear with cleaner foods and reduce inflammation with foods that calm. If you have digestive issues, be sure to check this post out, it has great information coming from someone who knows! (me).
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7- Try Light Therapy
Light therapy also helps manage the winter blues, but talk to your doctor first. There are a few lights to look at on Amazon. Here’s one that’s inexpensive to try: Miroco Light Therapy Lamp.
6 More Fun Things to Calm the Winter Blues
8- Add plants to your indoors
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Some other fun things we can do to brighten our blue months (January and February) are to bring green plants into your living space. Having plants, even if they’re fake, gives off a fresh feel to the room. Try putting a houseplant or two in your kitchen. If you don’t do well with plants, and what I mean is keeping them alive, head to your favorite hobby store or hop on Amazon and pick up some fake greens. Find other ideas on how to brighten a room here.
9- Light it up inside!
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Move your Christmas lights from your tree to other areas of your home. I have a fake tree in my house; year-round I put a string of white lights on it and turn them on in the evening and early morning. The fireplace mantel is also a great spot to have a string of lights. A few lights can go a long way! If you don’t like the typical dark green string, get the white one! You can find them on Amazon.
10- Turn your nose on
Fill your home with lovely smells. Honestly, I don’t know what it is about the smell of banana bread baking, but it brings warm hugs to my soul. Chicken soup does the same thing. Whatever your childhood favorite smell, make that smell happen! This is a low-cost method that goes a long way.
Play nature sounds. There are a lot of great nature sounds you can download. My personal favorites are the ones with birds, something that mimics my backyard in the warmer months. If the ocean is your favorite spot, tune into the sounds, and close your eyes.
12- Embrace the season
Welcome the stillness of the winter. Every year I find myself craving time alone when it’s snowing outside. Since I live in Michigan we get our share of snow. The snow has this magical way of quieting life down. Enjoy the silence of nature. One of my favorite places to be in winter is sitting in the snowbank at night…especially if it’s snowing!
13- Warm up the bones
Don’t forget to warm up your bones. If there is ever any sunshine, grab a camp chair and camp out in front of the window or door where the sunbeams shine through. I did this just the other day and my soul immediately felt better. No sun? Try your fireplace. No fireplace? Light a candle. No candles? Take a hot bath. No bathtub? A cup of dairy-free hot chocolate or tea works too…with a pair of cozy socks.
Victory over the Winter Blues
Let’s beat the winter blues at its game. Shine light where you can and warm up your soul using all your senses. Be aware of your surroundings and how you can change them. You got this!
