The benefits of a garden are more than growing pretty flowers and organic vegetables. A garden serves many purposes, but on this particular day, it served a HUGE purpose I didn’t see coming. Walk with me into my garden, this just may be the best-kept secret to peace, gratification, and an anxiety antidote.
The garden draw
There is something about flowers and vegetables growing in your very own garden. The benefits of a garden beam from our yards with vivid colors and luscious greens. The garden is so soothing to the eye, it draws me to be a part of that picture. If my garden looks peaceful, maybe if I go to it, then I will become peaceful?
Let me ask you this: where do you go when your heart is a mess? I hope that place is a haven for you and not somewhere toxic. Our hearts need tenderness and embrace. Whether that be a cozy corner in your home, a decorative closet, or the bathtub for a long soak. Depending on the season, my safe place is my garden.
In 2018 I found myself walking to my garden, but I didn’t go there to do my normal tending of it. I went there to sit in the dirt. I had a troubled heart and felt like dirt, so why not sit in it too? That was my attitude. If you don’t have a garden, don’t think this post isn’t for you. Each and every one of us has and needs a ‘garden’ for gardening, maybe for the sole purpose of why I needed it on this particular day.
Dirt meets dirt
I was completely dumbfounded by how I got myself in this state. Do you remember as a kid when you got in trouble with your parents…the flush of prickly heat bursting from your heart like a firework going off? Yeah. It’s that feeling when you know you really messed up.
Believe me, this wasn’t an easy post to write; in fact, I wasn’t going to write it. But it dawned on me that when my human self learns something hard and valuable, I should probably tell someone…maybe it will help them in some way.
So here it goes. I unintentionally hurt a dear friend of mine. My doing screwed up a valuable friendship. I messed up. Part of me wanted to crawl into a cave, but the other half wanted to go to a place that knew me. So I went to my garden. As I looked over the rows of flowers and herbs I wrestled with scenarios. I tried to foresee the future. I played back my actions. Why did this happen? How did this happen? This came out of nowhere! My identity jolted.
In my garden that day, my gut was a trembling mess. My heart was anxious. I paced the paths and hid my face from my neighbors. As I dug for a tissue I knelt down and stared at the dirt. “Dear God, forgive me. Help me see the root of this action.” I blew my nose, took a deep breath, and got my hands busy. As I plucked little weeds and churned up the soil, layers of thoughts peeled off and exposed the truth. Wow, I didn’t see that coming. How juvenile. We all have our adolescent times, this was one of mine.
What blooms from dirt is beautiful
His presence in the garden that day was strong; there is no doubt Jesus met me where I was. I felt His comfort yet discipline. “What must I do to mend this mishap?” I asked Him. As I walked to the other side of the garden, facing a dripping mess, Jesus’ words “The truth will set you free” squeezed my heart. But I don’t want to tell the truth, I’m embarrassed, I said.
“If it is freedom you seek, the truth will set you free”. After I wrestled with it for about 20 minutes, I dusted myself off and wound up the courage to do just that…tell the truth. What do I have to lose that I already have lost? As soon as I expressed the truth of the matter to my dear friend; my stomach stopped tossing, my mind stopped spinning, and I felt the imprisoned shackles unlock. I exhaled and knew I made the right choice. Thank you.
The benefits of a garden
Gardening is a task where we get our hands busy. Our garden is a place where we can be alone. It is a moment in time when our soul is unguarded, where we can let it free and know it’s safe. A place where we cradled the unique ability our Creator gave us. So what’s your ‘garden’? What place knows you? A woodshop, craft table, mixing bowl, knitting basket, sketch pad, kitchen, garage, where is it?
The benefits of a ‘garden’ no matter what place that is, will take you to peace and resolution. It’s there where we can be raw, where we can lament, and feel safe. It’s the garden that serves as a therapy session, to think through our struggles, to problem solve, and let go of what’s holding us back.
When we’re feeling troubled where do you want to go?
me in my garden
Our ‘garden’ opens her arms. She knows that when we get on our knees, we need her touch. She knows we need to get busy, so little projects present themselves. It’s quiet. We’re focused. As we work, the surface looks brighter. It feels good. But as we move through the ‘garden’ and dig a little deeper we find a few deep-rooted invasives. These weeds have been there a while. Seeds from their fruit are ready to plant themselves. Is that what we want?
The thistles on the stalk pierce our touch. We may step back for a bit, but find that if we gently grab the very thing that hurt us, we’ll then have the power to wrench and wrestle it free.
Our garden understands the pain that comes with breaking free. So she prays. And because our soul is defenseless to her love, we feel the hope she prayed for. It’s within our gardening where tears nourish her beauty. Where truth is told. And where strength might persist. It’s a place to rejoice when we pull the weeds out and plant new life in its space.
Benefits of a garden conclusion
Gardening does more than entertain and strengthen our talents. Our gardens listen, they heal, they comfort. I’ve got some questions for you: What is keeping you captive? When are you going to do something about it? Who do you need to talk to?
I encourage you to visit your special place this week. When you’re there, whisper loud enough for you to hear, and talk about what imprisons your heart. All you’re doing that day is getting the frustrations out. Then revisit your place later in the week. Get your hands busy. And ask God for help. You may not hear anything right away, but as you live your life over the next couple of weeks be aware of your surroundings, and open your senses. He’ll talk to you and give you the answer.
One of the pillars to a happy life is to know how to reduce stress in your life. If you think you’ve heard it all about stress management, think again. Get these 10 impressive tips on how to reduce stress in your life so you can live a healthy happy life. Seriously, you’re going to want to check these out.
We’ve all heard the key to stress reduction is to manage your time. Yes, that helps. But there is one thing that gets in the way of all the stress management techniques out here and it is this: we are all different. If you learn anything from this post it is this: understand who you are. When you do, you will know what stress management tip will work best for you.
What triggers stress?
How to reduce stress in your life starts with knowing what triggers the stress. Ask yourself what gets your goat. Is it time management, getting stuck in traffic, not being able to say no to people, what about what you’re eating? It also could be a who. Who is it that stresses you out? Your stress trigger might even be a certain time of year, like the holidays, or even a certain event. What about regrets?
I’m not sure it’s fair to say that stress and anger go hand in hand, but usually, when we are stressed, anger follows. Not a good combo. Take a look-see at these 3 Simple Anger Management Tips. Just FYI, when someone in your family is angry, they’re stressed. Take what you learn here and gently pass it on to them.
10 Impressive tips on how to reduce stress in my life
#1 Drink more water.
Drink at least one more glass of water a day. Doing this simple task helps give you more energy. Water also cleans out the toxins that linger in your body. With that said, make sure you have the right kind of water filter. Plus, who wants to be dehydrated…talk about stress!
Along with drinking more water, gradually start to clean out the processed foods. When our bodies are filled with crap, we’re going to feel like crap, let alone look like carp or crap. The processed foods mess with your digestive system and could leave you with leaky gut…which causes all sorts of issues including food sensitivities, allergies, and weight gain. Aiming for a clean diet is a fantastic goal. Experiment with going gluten-free or dairy-free. I’ve got some recipes to get you started. Here are a couple of other posts to help you out:
Another super effective way to know how to reduce stress in your life is weight loss. A touchy topic, I know. Just a suggestion here, you might want to explore the idea to know how to lose weight. Being overweight stresses our bodies out and how they function. The excess fat actually smooshes our internal organs. I get it, I experienced it. Being 20 pounds overweight did a number on me…talk about depression. Within 6 months, I lost all the weight and then some simply by making a few small adjustments. This was back in the 1990s, and I’ve kept the weight off ever since. I’m telling ya, it’s not rocket science. The secret to losing weight is this…you gotta want to lose weight. If you want it bad enough, nothing is going to stop you from getting it.
Don’t forget to exercise. Tie up the walking shoes and get out there. Walking has SO many benefits. Get your body moving when you’re stressed out. Exercise gets the blood pumping, clears your head, and increases the feel-good hormones.
Get organized. I recently moved, talk about stress in my life. Why? Our stuff was everywhere! I’m the kind of person who likes to have certain places for specific things, like the toothbrush, which should be in the bathroom not the kitchen. When we moved, I didn’t feel at peace until I got organized. Boy, I learned a lot about how to make moving stress-free.
Organizing isn’t just for moving or packing for vacation. Organizing is kind of like having a routine. Studies have shown that we humans like routine. This goes for your kiddos too. How to reduce stress in your life starts with a routine. When a routine is in place, our days are happy and nice!
One of the simplest ways to get organized, especially in organizing your time is to get a planner. Sure we can remember most things in our head, but when we write things down and see them on paper, we can be a lot more productive and purposeful. Writing things down includes a daily to-do list. Every day I have a make a list. My daily to-do list is like my compass for the day. Be sure to take a look at these posts for more tips:
This is an instant way to know how to reduce stress in your life. Declutter your environment. Along with organizing, decluttering is similar. With organizing, you are simply moving one thing to another place. Decluttering is getting rid of excess things and things you don’t need anymore. When we moved, I made a trip to the donation center, a trip to the recycle center, another trip to the dump, and I sold a few things. I can’t stress enough how FREE I felt when I got all the clutter gone. Decluttering is a fun way to get instant gratification in knowing how to reduce stress in your life.
Another way to know how to reduce stress in your life is by decorating with certain colors. You can find a lot of decorating ideas on Pinterest or Houzz. But when it comes to accent walls or pillows, choose colors like whites, greens, blues, and purples. Studies have shown that these colors and a few more help reduce stress. What else? Here are a few more posts to get you motivated:
Get outside, daily. We are beings that need nature to survive and thrive. There is something magical that happens when you get fresh air and are amongst the trees. Take a break at work and step outside, even if you have to walk to your car and down the sidewalk for a bit. Look at the blue sky, walk around the parking lot, and listen to the sounds of what’s going on outside. Getting outside naturally resets your mental mindset. It breaks up your day. Here are some amazing posts about getting outside:
Dust your hobby off and dig into it. One super fun way to know how to reduce stress in your life is to get a hobby. A hobby is a healthy way to break up the pressure to perform and balance out the hormones. When people think of a hobby their first answer is typically knitting, gardening, or woodworking. I like to think of a hobby as something to get your creative juices flowing while keeping your hands busy. Here are some suggestions for you to explore: Hobby Ideas +13 Reasons Why You Need a Hobby NOW!
#7 Forget the drama
Say no to drama. One of my goals in life is to manage the drama that comes at me. Whether it’s the news, a family matter, or another relationship fiasco I will achieve a drama-free life!
One way to say no to drama is to meditate. I’m not a person who meditates. But I do enjoy listening to instrumental music when I’m stressed. Meditation helps a lot of people and I encourage you to try it. But if you’re not someone who enjoys meditation there are other things you can do. I already mentioned listening to instrumental music, notice I didn’t say Metallica. When we listen to music without words, our minds don’t need to process both words and music. Instrumental music naturally calms the state of being and allows free thoughts to flow, which lowers those nasty stress hormones.
Another alternative to meditation is to simply enjoy the silence. Turn the background noise off for a few minutes. Talk to yourself. Open the window and listen to nature. Silence is soothing when you need to think and rest. Enjoy the silence.
Sometimes when there is an overwhelming amount of non-sense drama circulating around you, how to reduce stress in your life right then and there is to laugh. A good old belly laugh turns the stress hormones off and the happy hormones on. What’s even more fun is laughing with your family. There’s nothing irreplaceable than a good corny joke the whole family can enjoy.
Give others what you need. Volunteer, be generous. Giving your time to someone else helps your mind shift from circling around you to helping someone else. When we give attention to someone who needs it, a.k.a. love, this releases those feel-good hormones that will melt away the good old stress hormones. Volunteering also helps with depression. When you’re feeling down and out about yourself, go help someone. Don’t know how to start volunteering? Ask your local church, search online at library events, ask your child’s or grandchild’s school, or head over to your community center. Heck, you could even voluntarily pick up garbage around your neighborhood.
#9 How to manage money
Get a handle on your money. I know this is a sensitive topic, but if you understand how to manage money smartly then you will be set free from stress about money! The very first step in how to manage money is to know what’s coming in and what’s going out. At the end of the day, there should be a little money left over. In my Freebies, you can download a budgeting spreadsheet. Here are some great posts to help you make your money work for you.
How to reduce stress in your life final tip. To get to know yourself and your values. When you align your values to the choices and decisions you make, you will naturally have less stress. Talk to yourself. Seriously, talk out loud to yourself about your day, what you want to get done, what you got done; talk about your dreams, what you want for dinner, how amazing you are, and things like that. There is nothing silly about talking to yourself.
Wrapping up how to reduce stress in your life
Simply put, learn how to relax. When you can get your mind and body to relax, you have a direct stress management technique to lean on. All of this depends on your identity and understanding of who you are.
Find what helps you relax that is not dependent on another person. This is your thing, not theirs. Things like going for a walk, taking a bath, reading a book, or for some people can be chores that serve as therapy; for instance, doing laundry, ironing, washing dishes, vacuuming, or mowing the lawn. If chores work for you, then keep it up! Keep your relaxing regimen clean without the use of drugs or inappropriate actions. After all, kids get stressed too and they may ask you how to manage stress.
When we look at our children we can easily think they don’t have any stress. We might say, “What possibly could they be stressed out about?” Kids have stress, just like us. It might look different, but they do, and knowing how to relieve it can be confusing for them, even for us adults. No wonder stress is the #1 cause of illness and ailments. Reduce stress strategies are sure to help. You may be surprised at what you find out!
Who is Stress?
Think of it this way, whenever we have something important to us get compromised or threatened, ‘Stress’ comes to visit. Let me refer to stress as a person for a second, Mr. Stress. When things don’t go according to our plan, Mr. Stress welcomes himself into our home. When there are projects and deadlines to be met Mr. Stress sees an opportunity to break-in and steal. Hear me out, projects and deadlines aren’t bad, they’re actually super good, what is bad are the distractions that keep us from achieving those goals. And it’s the distractions, when not managed well, that act as precursors to our foe, Mr. Stress.
Mr. Stress can cause memory issues, sore throats, and digestive tracts havoc to name a few. That’s only a few headaches he causes. What happens at this moment is that Mr. Stress wakes up a hormone in our body called cortisol. Cortisol is the ‘bad stress hormone’. So what do we do?
Awareness is critical
Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Nobody can bring you peace but yourself.” The very first step to ignoring Mr. Stress is to be aware of his triggers. This year I was on a quest to destroy my cortisol feeders. Awareness helps us recognize the cord before it is struck. With awareness, we will then know what circumstance to avoid or to mentally prepare for. On a personal level, I needed to kick Mr. Stress out, so my plan was to simply pay attention to the little things, because the little things add up, and then do something about them. Be sure to check out this post on: How to Reduce Stress in Your Life: 10 Breakthrough Tips
The step-counters. At first, I found it curious. But then it became an obsession. I had to reach my 10,000 steps or it wasn’t a good day. This equaled a DISTRACTION for me. My fix? I took it off and just made a mental note of how much I walked.
Social Media. “I’ll just check it”, then 45 minutes later I’m like “What just happened?” Another DISTRACTION. My fix? I set a timer or don’t check it at all.
My purse. Wow, this was stressing me out. My purse was awkward on my shoulder. It was too slippery…yes, slippery. Too HEAVY! Not organized. Weird zipper. I had no idea how much of a DISTRACTION my purse was. My fix? I changed my purse.
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Paper Clutter. I enjoy a clean countertop. What took up the most real estate on my counter was paper. Junk mail, receipts, sticky notes, magazines, old homework, sale ads, and newspapers were piling up. This was not only a DISTRACTION but a stress bomb. My fix? I got a recycling bin and an organization station.
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Tasks are done, stress is gone, or is it?
When the big “tasks” are complete, cortisol levels go back to normal. Everything is fine, right? Not necessarily. Think of a wave approaching the shore. When a wave breaks how does it hit the beach? It crashes. Sand and shells stir and water splashes. It takes time for the water to settle and be calm. Like an ocean, the wave of cortisol might be gone, but our bodies take a lot longer to recover. How do we fix this?
Routines help reduce anxiety, we sleep better, and we are more productive. Let your kids write down what they would like their routine to look like. You can compromise with them to give them a little responsibility and to show trust. Here is a guide to help you and your child achieve their daily goals!
A ‘daily to-do list’ that includes errands and simple things like laundry and walking the dog helps your kid have purpose and importance. Having a to-do list is another great habit to teach your kids. It helps them see what they need to do, and then feel that amazing gratification when it’s time to cross it off the list!
3. Reduce Stress Strategies: Get outside
Getting outside every day for at least 20 minutes does wonders for our mental well-being. This is harder for us parents, but it teaches our kids that nature is their friend. As a parent, force yourself to get outside, even better you’re your kids. Show them how important it is to connect with nature.
4. Know what’s going on in their minds
Cut out (as much as possible) disturbing TV shows and movies, even the news. We know bad stuff is out there, but we don’t need to be reminded of it day and night. News especially freaks kids out. A friend of mine loves the news, however, she had it on all day. She also has two kids who were around the news. As time went on, the kids got afraid to go outside and play.
Reduce stress strategies come into play with what’s on the screen. A big tip is for our kiddos to watch what is right for their maturity level. For our kiddos and TV shows, be wise with what they watch. Their brains aren’t developed to determine what is real or fake. Even if you say, it’s fake, seeing is believing. So unless you can show them how they make movies, keep to the ‘G’ or ‘PG’ ratings, and turn the news off! I highly recommend Protect Young Eyes to help protect our kids.
Wrapping up reduce stress strategies
Putting into practice the right stress strategies takes time. You need to get to know yourself and your kids on a personal level. What makes you/them tick? Taking charge of your stress needs awareness and self-discipline. You got this. Here’s another post about stress you may find helpful: 5 Stress Fighters That Most People Forget About
Let me help you to know how to be less busy by avoiding this one mistake people make. But before I do, can you relate? Every year I say to myself, “I can handle May and June; “busy” won’t overtake me. I’m prepared for it.” But when that time hits all the neat and tidy thoughts explode into chaos. Seriously! What am I doing wrong? The answer to this question is not what I’m doing right or wrong, the answer sits before my action.
Is being busy good or bad?
Some people see “busy” as a badge, and some see it as a heavyweight. And if you’re like me, I like to be busy… it’s fun for me…most of the time. But in May and June, it’s no joke; I am too busy to enjoy ‘busy’. Sometimes I feel like someone should slap me in the face and say, “Get a hold of yourself Christy!” There are probably a lot of personal issues going on in this paragraph, but that’s a different post.
Since the 2019-2022 pandemic working from home has become the norm. Balancing work and parenting, let alone, being a pet parent was super challenging! It was tough knowing how to manage our time. We need to pay the bills, yet we want healthy family relations.
If busyness goes into the supper and evening hours and keeps you from having daily family time, then you may want to address your schedule; especially if you have little kiddos running around. Your health and well-being are also a top priority. If your body is reacting to the pace of life in a bad way, then back off on the busyness. Other than that, being busy is good for your sanity, it helps strengthen brainpower (got to be on your toes), and it helps you have greater self-confidence (use those talents and abilities you have!).
What causes us to be busy?
Right now I’m supposed to tell you that I choose to live in the moment. I am skipping down the sidewalk smelling the lilacs, singing the words Carpe Diem, and hosting a butterfly on my shoulder. Yeah, that’s…not…happening. Yes, I want to smell the lilacs, yes I want to change the world, yes I want to love on my family, and yes I want to get things done for the church, the community, my job, and the school fundraisers…yes, yes, yes! Um…hmm…so…this is when you see me draw circles in the dirt with my toe. Yep. I just realized what’s been happening. “Yes.”
It’s my fault I’m busy. My expectations and the make-believe expectations others have for me weaken my stance. The answer to ‘what am I doing wrong’ sits on one of two words: YES or NO. I need to pick one when someone asks me something. More importantly, I need to pick one when I ask myself something.
#1 Mistake People Make
The chaotic feeling and the stressful outbursts happen due to your personal values not lining up. Values? According to Dictionary.com, values are a person’s principles or standards of behavior; one’s judgment of what is important in life. Let me ask you this, do you know what your values are? Have you ever really thought about it?
If we want to be true to ourselves, values hold a lot of weight. So check this out, if people could use their values as a guide to their ‘yes’ or ‘no’, as a gauge of how they are managing their time, then life would be so much more enjoyable, don’t cha think? Isn’t that what we’re after? Joy? Then why is it so hard to use our values? Why have I collapsed over and over again? Because I FORGOT to use my values to hold me up. I forgot! This was my #1 mistake! I needed to know more about myself.
If you were a knight geared up for battle, what piece of equipment protects you from arrows? What piece of equipment gives you a little more confidence when running towards the battlefield? Do you remember that scene in the movie 300 when all the soldiers used their shields to protect themselves? That’s what values do. Values are shields.
Wrapping up how to be less busy
I wrote this post to remind you to not lose sight of your values, and to put your values in front of your YES or NO. And to not forget the power and protection that values hold. Young eyes are watching you, show them how to live a happy life.
Head to my Freebies for a Personal Values Exercise to help you define your values. This is one of the BEST exercises you can do for yourself. It’s fun! Download it now in Freebies.
We all want to have a happy family, but how do we have a happy family? Every family has its traditions, quirks, and drama. First and foremost, you have an amazing family. Family is fun in its own way, simply watch your family and learn what makes it tick. However, some seasons within the home walls can be challenging. How do we navigate through these times? This post will help you bring light to the surface and give you 3 amazing steps to learn how to have a happy family.
Put your seatbelt on for a ride that has game-changer effects on how your home and family feel. Learn how to be a better person, how to help your kid, and how to simplify life. Put joy back into your every day. Let’s jump into how to have a happy family.
This is about who?
This is about who? Your family, of course, but more importantly it’s about someone else. Whether you’re a mom or a dad, or someone who has filled that role, how to have a happier family starts with the foundation, and that’s you. No special toy, no vacation, or no incredible treat is going to give your family long-lasting results. The only outcome with that will be a spoiled kid. I get it…that was harsh for me to say; seriously though, how to have a happier family is all about you (the parent).
Who said parenting was easy? You might not like this.
Babies are so cute. But babies grow up to be their own person, just like you. The way babies learn how to grow up is by watching, listening, and copying you. They watch your actions, they listen to every word you say, and to the tone you are speaking. They know how you treat other people, they know your opinions, they know your habits good and bad. Parenting is a responsibility, it’s not all fun and games, or a box to be checked off. So, if you want to have a happier family, then be a happier parent.
3 Revolutionary Steps to How to Have a Happy Family
Step 1. How to be a happier parent
A happier parent isn’t just a surfaced smile and a tickle attack. It’s much deeper than that, it starts with taking care of YOU and tending to your heart. Important note: There is a delicate balance between working on yourself and selfishness. A selfish parent is a toxic parent. But a parent who takes of themselves to better themselves is a healthy one. This is where self-care comes into play.
When you are at peace, when you are healthy, when your heart is full, when your relationships are in check, and when you love your job…your kids are going to feel the difference, your kids will copy you, your kids will learn how to have joy simply by watching and listening to you. In other words, if you want something to change in your kid…let’s say their weight, then YOU lose weight. Do that journey together! They need someone to learn from, to walk alongside them, to feel their pain with, and to meet them where they are.
Step 2. Get rid of the junk
Another thing you can do to help your family be happier is to lose the junk. As silly and simple as this sounds, picking up around the house makes a difference! Clean up the house and get it organized. This sounds all fine and dandy, but where do you start? You start with the things you can see. This means taking a look at your surroundings.
How to clean the house easily is a loaded task. What does “clean” mean? Does it mean dusting or organizing? Either way, get your home feeling lighter and brighter. Here are a few tricks up my sleeve to help your home feel happier and more welcoming.
1. Open the shades and curtains. Natural light has a way of making you feel better. Check this Healthline post about natural light. Let the sunshine in!
2. Buy yourself some flowers. Flowers can bring bright colors or softness into your home. A vase of flowers is welcoming and a lovely centerpiece. There are great flower deals at ALDI, Trader Joe’s, and even Costco. Don’t forget about your local roadside flower stands!
3. String lights aren’t just for Christmas. They look kind of like fireflies! String lights are inexpensive for what they do. String them in a faux tree, along the fireplace mantel, around a window, or along the ceiling! There are endless options for string lights. There are the LED moving lights, those are fun, but they are not what I am talking about. When Christmas lights go on sale, buy a couple of boxes and have fun with them.
4. Clean the house. Yep. Get down and dirty and do a deep clean. I’ve got a post that may help you with this: Cleaning the House: 5 Factors to Understand. It talks about hiring a cleaning person to do it yourself.
5. Tidy up the yard. This is something your family can do all together. Pick up the garbage, trim the bushes, cut the lawn, start a garden, maybe power wash the siding or deck; make your house look like a home that cares. Did you know the appearance of a building makes a difference in how you feel about that particular place? Make your home welcoming, whether it starts at the street or the door of your apartment. Get it looking nice.
Step 3. This step might get hard, but it will change the course of your life
Take care of yourself. I’m not just talking about your looks, yes, that’s important too, but I’m referring to deep self-care. Let me put it this way, your thoughts will eventually become your actions; Matthew 15:17 tells us this. Put POSITIVE things in your mind, through self-talk, good books, positive music, encouraging shows, and clean videos. You need a break from the darkness. Your soul needs it too.
Let me explain when you watch or listen to dark videos, movies, video games, foul language, or music; it’s an invitation for darkness to come into your world. Do you want that? Be aware and look around you. What do you see on your playlist? What do you see in your entertainment cue? Rated R? Horror? Crime? Do you feel that nothing good happens to you? Does something bad happen to you every day? Check out my post on Spiritual Warfare.
Breakfree now!
Allow yourself to break free from the world’s view of you. Tidy up your body by losing weight for good, clean up your diet, and get your body moving. Learn more about yourself and understand who you are, you may want to look back to see if you’re making decisions based on what others want for you instead of yourself. I call this “being stuck in a mold”. Please protect your kids from getting stuck in a mold that’s either coming from you, your parents, or their friends. When you allow your kids to discover who they are, they are going to be a happier camper.
Personal wounds?Listen up!
Address your personal wounds, yeah, I’m talking to you right now, not your kids. How to have a happy family is about the stability of the foundation. Remember that the foundation is you, the parent. Please listen with an open heart. This is so critical to your lifelong happiness and joy. We’re all wounded. But the families and couples that are full of joy and peace, are the ones who heal from their past wounds. So if you know how to heal, then you can help your child learn how to heal.
Deep personal wounds bleed into our actions and words, no matter how hard we try to hide them. How do we heal from past trauma? Yes, a counselor can help you, but be careful in finding one. There is only one person who can heal, Jesus. A great way to start the healing process is to pray and ask Him to come into your life. I have a prayer here to help you. Find a church either online or in your community and learn more about Him. He helped me, and I know he’ll help you too.
Jesus knows
Get to know Jesus. He knows what you’re battling with. He’s waiting for you to ask for help from him, so get to know him first. Read Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John in the Bible. When you feel it’s the right time, ask a friend who follows Jesus to pray with you. During this time, ask Jesus to go to that specific wound and to show you how to heal, to shine his light on it.
If there is anything in the post I want you to remember, it is this part. Jesus will heal if you grab His hand. I highly recommend you ask your church to pray for you and to talk to a Christian life coach or professional Christian counselor. Healing your wounds is a game-changer. Doing this, will not only help you, but it will help the people around you.
Uh oh. Are your kids getting in trouble? Buckle up Buttercup
Are your kids getting in trouble at school? Your kid who is misbehaving in school, your kid who is bullying others…(hang tight) this is your problem, not theirs. I’m going to circle around and ask that you do a personal check on what’s going on with yourself. What are you talking about when they are around? How are you talking, are you swearing, are you yelling, are you gossiping, are you judging and being critical? Are you even around? Did you move? A divorce? Change jobs?
Walk alongside your kid. They don’t know how to navigate through major issues. Walk through it together. Learn together. Talk with each other. Pray together. If they’re stressed, help them to know how to manage the stress.
Whew! We had to take care of business before we got to the fun stuff. But like I said, how to have a happy family isn’t all fun and games all the time; most of the time it’s the little things like opening up the curtains, baking cookies together, communicating, or watching the game with everyone. Kick off the home happiness with a really fun and inexpensive time with your family, do this Scavenger Hunt Challenge. Seriously this is so fun and full of laughs, even your teenager will like it!
Here are a few posts that you can do with your kiddos to brighten their day and yours for that matter! Please don’t forget to laugh and be goofy every once in a while. They may roll their eyes, but deep down it makes them feel loved. And remember, everyone wants a little “me time”. Be sure to give your kids a little bit of that special time with themselves so they can learn more about who God made them to be.
This has been a tough post to write and listen to for that matter. I need this post myself! If you want to know how to have a happy family, to have more joy in your home; then work on yourself. You got this. Your kids will be happier, more confident, and will have peace. Be sure to check out The #1 Way to Simplify Your Life for Good! Pay attention to the simple things that bring light. If you want more tips on simplifying, find some fantastic tips on how to simplify my life in 5 Best Pieces of Advice for How to Simplify My Life. Keep shining your light!
